And the News just keeps rolling

That is probably as creative as I will ever get tonight. 
It's almost the New Year for a new me sort to speak. I've been apart of this organization for two years, but I have been teaching for longer than that. I guess this part of the post could go along with the recent post on frustrations. 

I know that I've been struggling with teaching, because I put myself in those positions. I love music and I like to teach, but I really don't think the way people see me, think that I can do. Do I make things a little harder on me , yeah It comes with the learning disability that I've had since I was Little, Probably why school was so hard for me, yet I survived.

Others have also said that I need to reinvent myself, and that I am just slipping by the cracks of life. It's the point to the fact of Yes I work hard everyday I fill out countless job applications, I try to be the best that I can be everyday, yet today I felt as though my best wasn't good enough.  The constant nagging about everything that I do wrong in my life  is just enough, if someone starts with me I always say just "don't" I don't want to hear it anymore. just Leave me be, before it gets worse. 

I guess tomorrow is a new day. Wish me luck on my interview tomorrow.

Stay Awesome Possums and Be Nice to People!

Frustration

I  know that many people get on your nerves with just about everything. And let me tell you sometimes enough is just enough!
I've been in Florida for about three weeks now, and I have a couple job interviews coming up in the next two weeks, and I am also teaching private lessons for voice. Of course the down fall with that is I do not have a piano. I need to buy one soon, but I want to see if this will work out in the end.

But going back to the job stuff, I am just tired of hearing my mom say you need to find a job, you need to not be spending money... the list can go on. I am sorry that I am spending money on gas for the car, my insurance's and just daily life things that I need? 
I am so frustrated with her, it's like no matter what I do nothing is going to be good for her. She doesn't want me to apply to another McDonalds, but that might just give me a job right away so then I can at least start making money and save for my own place and what not. It's like I don;t know what to do anymore , I keep telling her about my interviews and she has a fit. Ok Mom what do you want me to do not work? 

Not being social is really getting to me too, I know that it's hard to meet new people in a different place, I know a couple people here already, but it's hard when your mother throws a fit when you are just trying to make friends by going out and being social and that I am not home to sit around and watch tv and or be on the computer looking for jobs. 

It's like I can't win anywhere lately. I still have to find a church , because I need to go back into church it might help me out during the week and meeting new people. maybe I'll even join the choir.

Sorry that this post is all of my frustrations but I just need it out and open .

I also get a little frustrated with being in a long distance relationship. I know that Steven probably feels the same way. Granted being over 1200 miles can cause some issue, but our joyful skype dates usually last about 2 hours long on a good day or night depending on the day. with our time difference it makes it a little hard on me because I am always an hour ahead of Chicago time. So It will be 12 his time and 1 in the morning my time and will skype til about 2:30 or 3:30 depending on the time. If I do well on these interviews. It will be difficult to have our skype dates. What is some other things that we can do besides writing, calling and or texting, and or sending gifts just because. 

All right my lovely follower's I need to finish up my lesson plans for my student. 

Stay awesome possums ! and be nice to people!

I've been creating new blogs

I know that is probably something you don't want to hear from me or should I say write.

I just feel as though I get to cluttered with all the things that I want to post. Plus it was getting annoying for me to keep using different blog sites and trying to remember what password was to what.

So I deleted the other one and made two more on this email to keep it so I can go from one to other . As to keeping it simple.

This is my personal blog one that I share as my trials and errors, and then I have a book club one for just writing blog reviews of the books that I read , and then I also made a musicians life one for my private lessons the trial and errors of planning lesson plans and what works and what doesn't work .

I guess I need more time on my hand . I am still working on trying to find another job. I do have to say that I have an interview the day after my birthday, so I guess I can say Happy early birthday to me?

Hopefully it goes all well and all this preparing comes in handy. As of right now I am going to go and keep celebrating Christmas with my mom and finish my lesson plans a little later tonight or tomorrow.


So Merry Christmas , Happy Holidays. I hope that you spend time with the people that you love most. I know I am missing my sweetheart because long distance is rough! but if we can pull through all of this and still be there for each other then we can do whatever we want.

Just keep swimming

Everyone has a story of their own whether if they know that or not. Sometimes it takes a while for a person to see what their story or life entails.

It's with a heavy heart that I write out this blog post I lost another friend yesterday morning to suicide. As I am probably still in a little denial and still wondering just "why" we all come to ask "why me " or "why did it have to be her time." Sometimes we will never know it's hard to wrap your head around it and make sure everything is ok .

I know that staying positive is what always needs to happen when something like this happens, it can really mess up the way you think. Suicide isn't the answer I know there are people out their who can help you if you just listen to them. I know many people don't realize they have that option or if the medicine doesn't work , then find someone who you trust and can talk to you about anything.


Even though I won't be able to make the wake and funeral because It's really expensive to come back to Chicago on an air plane with it being the holidays.

So I've been here for about two weeks and I finally have a interview for a car dealership, I am excited and hopefully it will work out in the end. Of Course it's the day after my birthday so I guess it's a good birthday present too.


Short post today I hope everyone has a great Christmas.

Well we made it to Florida .

 

IWell we made it to Florida . I am currently blogging from my iPhone . I had to get a new phone with a different carrier because my old carrier didn't have any signal anywhere it was nuts . 

Mom and I have been here for over 24 hours and we are still just wiped out . Most likely drom the drive and constant traveling and what not . I'm sure everything will turn out fine it's just getting used to everything around here . 

Here are some pictures along the way to Florida we tried stopping at different places in Kentucky Tennessee and Georgia before beginning the decent into our new home . 

end of an era and starting a new beginning

I can't believe that It's about that time where I am gonna be leaving for a new life. I know that it's gonna be hard and what not, but as my old band director used to say "If it were easy , everybody would be doing it."

I know that I will be missing a lot of people on my way down to Florida. But I am confident that I will see them again real soon.  It's been a stressful week to say the least. But I was so happy that it was finally over.  I am excited and sad at the same time I feel as though It's just gonna be a long day and it will most likely get stressed out a little bit. 

I'm excited to be traveling I haven't really had a long road trip in my car besides going to spring field. 

I can't wait to get into Tennesse , because will be in NASHVILLE. I am so excited to just be in Nashville , I mean I do love country music , and I always been wanting to go to Nashville I feel like it would be a great expierence. 

I know that this is going to be a real short post since we are going to be leaving for breakfast soon . and then we are going to be on the road. So I will most likely be blogging either from my phone or through my computer at the hotels. 

But see you soon !

Happy Thanksgiving

I just wanted to stop by on my blog before the festivities start and say Happy Thanksgiving to you all and That I am grateful to get to be here every day and blog and meet so many people! I hope you all enjoy today with your loved ones near and far. and always remember be nice to people !

two blog posts one day

I didn't know how I wanted to start out this post , becuase I feel as though it's a touchy subject, or at least it is too me.

 I have to say that I love this picture :-) Just a random picture. 

So as most of my recent posts are about moving and what everyone has their opinions. And I know that I have some supportive friends and then some friends who I am like uh what the heck are you trying to do. 

I have been thinking a lot lately because during a time in your life when you are changing for the better it shows who your true friends are. What I mean by that is that they are happy that you are doing so much better for your life rather then you be miserable. I know when to not fight anymore and just say good bye to them. 

It's what will be best for me and less stressful.  Yes Stress is apart of me right now because well time crunch. As I spend the last hopefully 3 days of work (keep those fingers crossed). I am so nervous to not have a job, that's a huge change for working for 6 years and then all of a sudden not be working. It's so weird and I haven't really had that sink in yet. I bet on Sunday when I am eating dinner with my co workers that that's when It will hit me. My co workers are my other family between the laughs and the I hate you at this moment to not . 

We have weird relationships with our customers too. We get some really nice regulars and then some you just want to strangle! But I was so excited to see Sam I am the dog It's real name is Sammie . But what was so funny was I knew it was them by their order!!! You all probably think that is really weird and I have to say yeah it is, but who cares.

P.S. I did say that I probably won't blog til after I settled oops ! sorry this was on my mind, had to write it here before I forgot.

Well I am off to bed Good Night

to- do lists among other ramblings

So I've been on pinterest last night looking up easier ways to pack up my room and what to take and what not to take with me. I feel as though It's been a rough couple of days because I feel as though with all the stuff that I did get rid of I feel like I've aquired more. how is that possible?


So I am sitting at work because 1. I thought I started at 7 and really started at 8 :-( could of probably slept in a little while longer. But that's ok I started up my car early got ready for work came out and cleaned off my moms car for her if she was gonna go out durning the day so she didn't have to do it.
Picked up my co worker so she wasn't walking on ice the whole time.

And now I am sitting here blogging on my ipad . I have to say this is a great thing to have in my purse along with having a notebook for the occasional to- do list . Which seems to be getting a lot bigger as the days go on.

My friends have been planning on a going away party, and My schedule has been so compacted that It's been a hard time to get everyone together. Yeah big groups of people and a lot of schedule conflicts are a hard to plan, but it gets done.

I know that lately I've been complaining a lot of the time with some of my friends being overly selfish , and I am grateful for some of my friends who are not selfish, I am happy of my decision and I've been super tired of proving them wrong. It's like you can be happy for me or just be completely angry with me.  But I am going and that's that. I don't care if you don't like me after that or that I didn't spend time with you it's a two way street I shouldn't have to come down to you every time. or at least meet me half way.  Sorry got off topic.

I knew that these last few weeks were gonna go by fast , and I am kind of glad they did. I mean yes I'll miss every one who i've met through out my life, and some people I would just like to forget. But a change is something that I need to have in my life and if this is what is gonna help me start not completely over but at least do something better with my life then here goes nothing.

12 years gone too soon

As I sit here and warm up from our very cold and snowy weather, I felt as though the days have been running together.

So realizing what the date was today It made me realize that not only was it 12 years ago today that my dad had lost his battle with cancer, but over all it was snowing. And you all will probably think that it''s just crazy how it always snows and does the big fluffy style snowflakes. And I always felt a sense of ease even though I hate snow. When my dad had passed it was actually snowing that day it was the light fluffy snow, and almost every year it would snow on this day. So in a way this was my way of having a moment with my dad. 

I would say that my dad is proud of me in ways that anyone would be proud or at least semi proud. 

I know that my profession isn't what most people would think as a profession. But we all have what our professions should be. 

As I am getting ready to move down to Florida , I feel as though I've been on a roller coaster , with being so busy with working , and coming home and packing, and getting some more sleep because I am so stressed out and tired all the time.  Convincing my friends that this is what I want is a nightmare, constant reminders that if I want to be selfless let me be . I may not be a selfish person and granted I was not brought up that way. 

I went to go visit the cemetaries where my families are buried and there in two different spots one in ressurection cemetery and then queen of heaven  with a half hour drive in between, depending on traffic and construction, because that always seems to be popping up everywhere now adays . 

As I probably won't be blogging that much until I am situated in Florida .

 I hope every one has a great Thankssgiving with friends and familes!

unofficial Thanksgiving

Yeah that is what I am going to call it. You may be wondering why I am calling thanksgiving unofficial thanksgiving, well if you are curious enough we are having thanksgiving today 11-15-14 just two weeks before the actual holiday. We thought that this would be easier on us because that week we will be packing up our house to move to FL. Scary I know , but also filled with excitement! Any time I start to talk about Florida I just have this eagerness to explore and meet up with my friends that I know and to finally meet one of my blogger friends Cami! To say that I will miss where I lived for the past 25 years yeah, it was my childhood home, but I know there are better things out there for me.m

I know that many people are still up in the air about me going, I understand that they want me to stay. but I am following what is in my heart right now and that is starting a new more opportunites. Plus I want to leave all the bad things behind, it's time to move on and leave the people that haven't been supportive in my life or have been way too opinionated to say the least.

As I've said before its not the last time anyone is going to see me, there are ways to see each other through skype, phone calls text messages, etc... I know that goodbye seems like a long time, but I am willing to make some sacrafices and I have been, yeah I'm giving up a lot up here like friends and family and what I grew accustomed too, but I feel and know that it's the right decision to go.

I know that there is many hating going on with my decisions and sometimes I truly wonder our friendships in the end, and I mean who wouldn't wonder? I've always have gotten the end of a deal where I am more selfless then selfish, and I am perfectly ok with that. Granted yes there is occasional selfish times, but I am the more putting others before my own, and I have to say I don't know if everyone likes me that way. I always feel as though they have a problem with it. I am sorry that if you don't like me for who I am , then why do I even bother. I am an introvert selfless human being, I've had a rough couple of months, and when finally things start to turn around for me and become better, is when people start turning.

In other news, this blog was supposed to be published yesterday, but Time got away with me.
I can tell you this about me I am not a very affectionate person, like I give hugs and kisses and what not, but it's not like PDA all the time , I've been noticing that a lot more with myself that I've drawn back on being so available with what I am thinking with relationships and I do have to say that I don't think that for me being in  a relationship at this present time is what I need, I've been working way to much and hard to give up , but I just feel with everything going on with all my friends not being supportive, I just feel as though I am putting into perspective are these the people that I want to share my most inner thoughts, granted I share it on here all the time with people I don't know.

Just something to think about over the next couple of days.

A change for the better

Helllo Everyone, I am sorry for not blogging, Ive bee busy with packing.You're probably wondering why I am packing. Well if you have read my latest blog posts, you'll see that I am moving, but I didn't tell you exactly where I was going, because in all reality I didn't even know where I wanted to go.  I know many people have been very voice opinionated, and I get it. It's a HUGE CHANGE. I have decided to go to Florida with my mom. Yes I know I am 26 years old and that I should make my own decisions and I did, I did it for me and for my mom to have someone else down there for in case of emergencies. Does that make me selfish? Yeah probably , but with everyones opinion its been added more stress to me, I understand that its a huge change for everyone me included , but I never been this excited to do something different, am I worried that I will lose contact with people, yeah change can be a great thing or a horrible thing. I know that I won't be gone long cause who knows if I'll like it down there, but I will never know unless I try. And If noone can support me on this journey then why am I friends with them? I know that they are hurting that I am leaving , but if they were truly my friends they would be happy that I am taking control of my life. I always think of if it were my friends and they were moving 1200 miles away from everything that they have to try a new expierence, then so be it I will always say good luck and that I am happy for you.

 I am beyond excited to start this new journey in my life, am I giving up my old life, no I am just enhancing it by traveling. I always wanted to travel. 

I know that Steven is having a hard time with all of this because I am leaving, I keep saying that it's not good bye it's just a so long for now. I know change is hard on everyone and if you love that person , and they want to try something different then all you can do is support them, long distance relationship are rough on both parties, but if your love is strong it will still be hard, but if your both willing to work at it while being in the distance and still come out on top then you are golden. Idk maybe I am just the one who knows it will work, as though I feel as though it will be a one way street, and if it happens to be it so be it. I know that I said that I wouldn't leave ,but I've been trying so hard with everything that I want the change.

That's all for now  Love you guys.

still looking around

There are times in my life where life is just plain confusing. I am so conflicted with emotions and just dont know what to do anymore. A while back in my blogs you've probably read about a guy named Chris. Well he hasn't made an appearance in my life for over a month in a half. And now on Halloween he decided to give me a call.?? Why the hell is that? I am still trying to figure that out. most  of the conversation was about catching up and seeing whats up i guess.  It's just so weird and stupid because why would you even think that I would take you back after not speaking. It's like you want a death wish or something. I am just kidding about the death wish. I think he got the idea that I was gonna stick around . I don't stick around for anyone really. 
This month is gonna go by quickly I can feel it. I still havent found a place that is reasonable in price and in a good part of town. It's either I go out really far or stay close to home and pay an  astronomical price. are there any way to make it eaiser looking ?

the stress is on!

Well its official, the house is officially off the market and sold.. Now its scrambling time to find a place to live. I have been looking high and low for a place that I can afford on my own and let me tell you it is stressful and hard. plus being on a time frame and trying to work.. YIkes many sleepless nights...

As many of you probably don't know .. I have no idea what to look for in an apartment besides clean, safe neighborhood what is included in rent etc...

 But then it got me to think how am I going to furnish an apartment, I can barely cover the rent. But that is something that will be on the back burner for now. All I know is I just need to find a place and be able to move in as quickly as I can so that way when this month is up I won't be scrambling.

I have the support of my friends and family, and if it wasn't for them I'd just end up on the streets.  You really know who your friends are when you are going through a rough time. Even though I wish i would have one good thing go for me that is not the case at all 

short post today I am going to look at apartments 

Giving advice , do you ever follow your own advice...

I've been trying to write a blog post for the last couple of days , and yeah I have Idea's but I never know if I actually want to share them.  I know I should because If you made it this far into my blog posts I usually have something to say, granted some of it's just pretty stupid, but hey if that's what happens in my life so be it.

So I've been off of overnights for at least three weeks nowm and I have to say that I love having my saturday nights back , even though I usually just stay in and read a book. YES I AM THAT LAME... Granted If I want to drink I can without having to go out and pay a crap ton of money, Usually I blog either on Friday nights or Saturday, sometimes sundays but it just depends. 

So I have a youtube channel and I barely use it, yes I have videos on their but I really haven't posted anything on my channel in a while. I wanted to start a vlog. I know those are usually interesting and funny too depending on the outcome and what are in them especially in your daily lives. But right now I don't think I would want to share that much. yet here I am sharing it with all of you through words. 

So onto the the actual blog post that I am supposed to be doing today...

So have you ever given people some advice for just about anything, whether it be from dating to just staying positive etc... 

I guess you can call me the advice whisperer the reason why I say that about myself is because I can give decent advice, and I know that people don't have to take my advice and or even listen to my advice, because yeah I don't know everything. I AM NOT PERFECT. Sometimes I feel as though I should of went into phsycology, anyways i was helping a friend of mine through a hard time have you ever heard you can call me all hours of the night. Yeah me too 2:30 A.M. can I just say for once I wasn't really awake to take all that information, but you know what I did the best I could and If I helped Great if I didn't no big deal. I laugh though because a lot of people have told me , "ya know you should really take your own advice." ok thanks for that pep talk, but do you honestly think that I would take my own advince for my own life yeah I should , but sometimes It's just nice to help others rather then help yourself. Granted I feel as though it's a little naive of me to think about and I get that, but sometimes I just don't want to worry about myself for once and just let things happen. I guess you can call that fate or just plain stupidity , but hey its just me.

I know that I've been struggling from my job, to social life, to love life, to just barely breathing above water with bills and just being an adult. I know that It will get easier , but I just want one thing to go right in my life, I hate waking up and  thinking is today going to be a good day or is it gonna turn out to be just like any other day. I am grateful for my friends who have stuck by me through the long run. I know it's not easy for them to be around me when I have a lot going on, but It's noted whose around.. The only thing that I can say about that is to just stay positive, and laugh often, and relax there is nothing that I can't do right now, and it's not worth getting stressed out about. Do I wish I had my life a little simpler sometimes, but God put me on this earth to do something with my life, I just havent figured it out yet. Do I Give up yes. I guess I just feel defeated, but sometimes just surrounding yourself with people who love you and just laugh a lot , they say that it's a huge stress reliever or is that sex, or wait is it exercising, I don't know honestly. But what I do know is that I laugh everyday even if it's a chuckle, I can't really go back to working out just yet .( go to the wedding post) it explains it there. and Sex don't really care or have it and that's ok. And Yes I did just say that. 

I hope you all have a great night. and It's back to reading Charlotte Bronte's Jane Eyre. I love reading as you can tell i usually can get through a book withing 3 days depending on the length and if i actually don't get disturbed a lot. 

Guest Bloggers anyone?!?!?!

Hello lovlies,
 I am in dire need of some guest bloggers. I'm interested in what other bloggers have to say and I thought why not try being a guest blogger on my Blog if you are interested please email me at marykaybozec@gmail.com
 in the subject line put Guest Blogger
also send me the links to your blog or blogs. and what you want your guest post to say as well.

Thank you I appreciate it !

Wedding day fun

So my friend is finally married!!! everything went off without a hitch, we had a good weather day and it was just really fun. until a groomsman stepped on my foot while it was in my heel and bruised it so bad that on the outside looks like a fracture it really is not!

 this was the day after the wedding....

during work on monday I finally went home early because I was in a lot of pain

this is what i am now wearing for the next two weeks..... Can you tell that I am amused... Granted I can still work but it makes it a little difficult to stand. I just can't wait till the swelling goes down then maybe I can put a regular shoe on!!!...

 before picture . I know what people are going to say why do you do that a before picture, I guess it's just to see what is so very different about me.. I don't care for the makeup and the dressing up because I'd rather have them see me for me and not hiding behind looking awesome.  And yes that is my dads shirt that I fit into 

hair made up looks ok it was something different and I let the hair dresser have fun she said I was her easiest customer. I guess they really like that..

finish touches minus my flowers .

 we were having some fun at the reception 

my groomsman Josh and I supporting the Blackhawks on their FIRST HOME GAME and YES THEY WON 6-2 !!! 

we decided to be bad asses lol over all he was a nice guy... 

the groom and the maids 

 neighbors aka la familia 

 whole bridal party. we were some fun people to hang out with!

 maids flowers 

mom and I

 rehearsal dinner 

 neighbors again .. yeah I didn' t like how that dress looked after a while but hey couldn't beat that price of 6.00 

 after 64 bobby pins later my hair was still really curly when i woke up the next morning lets just say that I had to wash my hair twice to get all the hairspray out ...  

last picture I promise I went to pick up my dog from my aunts house on sunday afternoon to see her and catch up... Over all lazy sunday. I came home to celebrate my neighbors bday which was the day after the wedding and we watched the bears game they won!

Overall a fun tiring weekend , but I had a great time letting go for a couple of days and just be in the moment. 

Ramblings

Ashton being a bed hog

Hello My Lovelies! Most of you probably have read my past blog posts and wonder what is actually going on. Yes I  know I've been kind of complaining a lot and not a lot of just get out there and you'll be fine motto. Well If you haven't read them I am moving out of my childhood home. But not just me , but my whole family. My sister has already found a place to stay her friend was very nice to let her stay. Mom still doesn't know where she wants to end up.. all I know is that she wants to make the end goal Florida . But I am afraid that she will not get the states help with link cards and being able to support herself. Granted I am also going through that what can I afford on my kind of income. It's a rarity that I get overtime at my job. If it means that I suffer sleepless nights or days for that matter.  Do I spend the time traveling to the other stores within the franchise. We have 7 stores in our franchise owner, I've been to 5 out of the 7 stores within the last year. Some come and go for twice a week or three times a week.

When I am not working I am either doing what I am right now. Blogging it's my way of just taking a breather or just time to myself. I also am looking for apartments within the area, but I am worried that I can't afford them on my own. As you can tell I am very anti social a lot it's not that I don't like going out I do , but If i don't have to go out I won't. I am ok with reading books and watching movies or catching up on my tv shows.  I guess my priorities have changed so much in my life because of many different things. I guess one was when my dad passed it was hard on our family and we all kind of had to change a lot and deal with what was thrown in front of us. When I turned 21 that was all fine and dandy woo hoo I can legally drink now.. Whats funny is my mom gave me permission at 20 It was at my neighbors 40th bday and I just lived across the street. Does that Make it a wrong thing for parenting. No i don't think so. It wasn't like I was with people I didn't trust. I know many people would probably frown upon.

Lately I've been working a lot of hours and crazy shifts at my job. I have to say that I am grateful to have a job , it's just hard trying to get out of the food service , because that's what I always attract I guess that's ok , but when you really want to get out of it . It just brings up a hard time.  I just need to find something else to help me pay for an apartment and maybe not land on the streets. I wish that I had the support of my mom , but lately I feel as though she thinks that I have everything under control, yet I don't know where to start. I don't make enough to live on my own otherwise I would of done it a long time ago. Any chance I had possible roommates always backed out on me... it was nerve racking and also I now have to take in two cats because my sister can't take all three and sure enough mom can't take them either...


So today I reached an all time low or at least I think, but I may be reading more into this then intended. But today I went to together we cope, it's a second hand store but can also help you with bills and rent etc... they couldn't help me with that, but they did give me food for a month... I know that I do have a job and that I budget like crazy, but when things come up it's like no social life which hey I am ok with that. Now if my mom could get off my back with trying to find a guy to spend the rest of my life with..
One thing at a time I keep telling myself.

28 hours and counting.....

PLease forgive me this blog post might be a little disjumbled because I've been up for more then 26 hours.... The reason is because I worked last night and yes... I know I should be in bed right now and not blogging ... but hey what can I do I am stuck being up because of you guessed it not one house showing but two house showings...Thank god that there is hopefully only the two today... but they genenerally pop up all the time... and frankly there are days where I absoultly hate it... given the fact of being  whats the word am I looking for , thrown out no thats not it put out I guess is a better term for it, out of our house .. I get it but it's kind of hard to fall asleep in a car... Yes I've done that before go park somewhere and fall asleep for a little while let me tell you it's not comfy what else is new....

I just wish she gave me more then 24 hours to find a place to stay at so I can actually sleep properly. and not have to worry about trying to sleep or finding a  place to go... and it's hour 28.... I know I shouldn't be complaining, but I have so much going on in the next two weeks, that I hate the fact that it makes it miserable... I know that I should be happy about being able to have a  house to live in.. but I am tired asking for help with apartment searching ... and she won't help me... I thought we were supposed to help each other. I don't understand why i bring her pamphelts and say that this is a real good place.. and then it's how are you going to do this or that etc... It's like she doesn't care and yet when someone else tries to put their two sense in she gets all defensive on my behalf... Sometimes I think she is bipolar.... or that I am too much a shame to her.. Well I am sorry to disappoint you momma, but I never will disappoint you , because you can only go up from here...

I may not have a guy right now, I may not be married or have kids.... I may not own my own house let alone apartment.. BUT I AM HAPPY With myself yes, there is a lot of things that have been thrown my way of where I need to go, but that doesn't discourage me to be who i am... If you don't like It then I am sorry but you don't love who your children are and it's all for a show...

Stop playing the games and start being honest with us do you really want us to be out of your life completley .. all we ask is actually listen to your doctor and use your cane...  I don't care if you don't like it  if it's gonna help you with stability... then so be it... Stop acting like a child....I am tired of being the adult.. I've been it since I was 14.... when dad passed away... It's time you let us go and not being so hard on us and knowing our business 24/7 ...

Can someone love you too much.. I understand that they do want the best for you and that you deserve everything ,but somethings in life just take time... Money does not make you happy... people don't make you happy.. Granted they can in some cases, but you always have to rely on yourself to be happy and live a peaceful life ....

I'm starting a running blog post

   I know that I've tried running before and that it wasn't very successful.. but lately I've been running more outside and I have to say that I really enjoy it.. I only run about a mile and then I walk some of the other mile or I switch it up a bit...

Sorry for the delay in this post I've been super busy and my body has been shutting down on me a lot and stress has been a killer to me..

I know that I don't have a bad life , but I am just super tired of taking a couple steps forward and then getting shot back to where I was at the beginning.   

 

    

 Granted I know that this post is a little out there sorry I am still trying to configure everything out ...

the apps that I use through my iphone are map my run and i biker which has mutiple ways of working out not just biking or running but trail walking or plain out walking... so bare with me a while while I get all of this sorted out...

so v

 

catching up on life

So this post has been just sitting in the drafts section for a while now... Sorry life got in the way. Well our house is now on the market and we've had about 6 showings since we put it up on Wednesday...

I guess that's a good thing because it means people are interested in it.. bad thing for me is looking for a place to stay... 

I am tired of getting lectured ... if it's not from my mom its from my sister to my neighbors... I understand that they want the best for me , but can they just let me be who I am an not have to change anything around me ....

I am happy granted that doesn't have to do with having a man in my life.. Long story about that one... I'm not sure even If I want to talk about it right now....

Yes I know I am supposed to be doing a running post.. It's still in the works plus I need to get to the gym and workout... but with these crazy showings coming up at the last minute ... I am tired of being forced out of my house for 6 hours so that they can look at the house. I always end up at work or the library or the mall or I just drive to different places, because what else do I have to do... 

I am going to go visit my cat that we gave to the vet... originally we were going to put him down because he is 18 years old... and it was about time. but the vet was nice enough to keep him around..

It will be nice to see the kitties again. I never realized that when most of the cats are out of the housee.. that I would miss them so much... 

I guess they grow on you I guess.... 

You all have a great day i am goin to get a lot of things done today so I can go babysit and then go to work.. Hopefully we don't have any showings tomorrow til afternoon so I can come home and sleep a little... 

Oh and that job that I traveled to in spring fielf was a no go... I got the job yes, but I didn't see myself fitting there.. It just seemed so sketchy They wouldn't let me ask questions... THey didn't tell me what I'd be makong an hour or even if i get benefits .... It was a 5 min interview.... it was like I drove 3 hours on my day off to do this interview and it was just pure crap....6 hours round trip...  I should of just gave up on it and call them to say that I didn't want the job.. But I went to just get interview expierence because It's been a long time since I've had an interview. 

Have a good Day loves !!!

Good Morning it's super Early

Hello Blog land... yeah I know that sounded really dumb! But I just wanted to drop by and say good Morning.  It's already 7 A.M. and I've been up since 5 A.M. My guess is just probably because I couldn't sleep and plus I have an interview today in Springfield.

I have to say that this would be my first really long trip in my car.. I never really went on a road trip with the beast. Yes you saw that right I call my car the beast. And I am beauty... lol Beauty and the beast very clishay .... but it's ok I like calling it the beast... its a great car doesn't give me problems. 

I am very nervous for this interview because I have no idea what this job entails because it wasn't very specific when they posted it on a job site.. I really wished that they at least put something about what I would be doing.. 

Anyways I am hoping that this would be a step forward into something different and a good change. I feel as though it's a good time for a change ..

I had applied to a job in Ohio ... yeah they wanted to have my drive up there for a pre interview... And I probably would of BUT they were very considerate and told me that their hiring manager will call me to do a phone interview. I thought that was really nice of them to make it a little easier for me. So that was nice I am still waiting to hear from them..

I know I said that my next blog post would be a running one. Yes That is still true I am working on that one as soon as this one is up and posted. It will probably be up either tomorrow friday or saturday. Depending on how tired I am when I get home tonight... 6 hours in the car round trip.... Yes I made a lot of CD's to keep me sane and or have my phone hooked up.... I really should just get an ipod that would make it a little easier so I don't have to use my phone but that's ok...

Well I am off to go and get ready for this interview.. Because I always say that being early is never a bad thing plus I don't know what traffic is like in the morning . because I am usually 5 mins away .

that's all for now Blog land

Have A great Day....

Blogging

So I've just noticed when I was looking at my blog post for past years, that this year I've written more then in the last two years.. How crazy is that!!! I guess now that I've been structuring more of what my blogs about. Which is life in general. I feel as though really working on them to the point of where I don't post the same day unless there isn't much to work with then it's usually a long process but hey I am willing to do that for my readers. Granted I am not worried if you don't read them I am not worried. I am just here writing during the week whether it be one post of the whole week or just a couple posts during the week. Which tend to happen. :-)

I can't wait for you to read my next post... I'm starting a running log. I know sounds tedious right? I have been looking for some kind of stress reliver that isn't in the gym because I can't stand the gym anymore. I do the same things almost every time I go, Warm up on the treadmill and go running for a mile or 2 and then I go and work on strength training, because yes I do need strength training.. 

So keep checking back here for that post I'm still debating if i want to do one post at a time or just do mutiple like 2 or 3.. I'll see how that goes speaking of running I really should go home and go on that run !!!!

a day in the life of a fast food worker just grin and bare it

Why is it so difficult for people to just be patient anymore.. I kid you not today at work I had a gentleman tell me to hurry up and fix what was wrong with the order on the screen, ok first off TAKE A CHILL PILL.... it doesn't happen instantly our screens on our computers don't always react when we need them too. Plus I know what it's supposed to be so you don't have to tell me again what it is after the fact that I said I know what it is. then why isn't change, well sir because our computer system is not working at this present time. OI I just want to be like if you don't have the patience to wait 30 seconds  let me fix your order then you shouldn't be in drive thru.. it's not my fault that I have to be up early oh so you can get your morning egg mcmuffin and coffee while you drive to work. Sometimes I want to just yell and say HEY WHY DON"T YOU SAY THANK YOU MORE OFTEN... IT might make us feel better about losing sleep so you can get a good start to your morning. I understand that we are a "FastFood" resturant and i know that yes we are supposed to be fast, but if we ask you to park because it's going to be a minute on your eggs, and you complain that you want your money back and that you don't want to wait... if you actually stop arguing with us then you will get your food faster and not waste my time and yours and the other 6 cars behind you waiting for you guessed it a coffee. Just please do what we ask and not be a complete ass hole about it.. I understand being in the customers sight that we always get the rap of why are your prices so high and why can't you give me anything for free. I had a customer say that to me i'll have a coffee and a egg delight for free just throw it in the bag, Hey idiot Do you think i am that stupid to give you something for free just because you say so. Hey heres an idea why don't you get up earlier and make your own breakfast because hey it will be cheaper and more healthy for you rather than sit in a drive thru line and eat un healthy foods and drinks an abundance of coffee... 

Sorry for the ranting i like my job most days but lately I've just been dealing with idiot customers. BUT my regular customers are always the best. I love it when they don't have to say their order because I already know it. and if they change their order then i say " my heart is broken" lol you broke my heart and start laughing... and they reply I'm sorry Mary Kay ... it's all good  I  like the challenge. of learning something new... 

this was 4 day to write this post....

my life through my iphone

So I just got a new phone a couple days ago. And I have to say that I love it. I know what most people are going to say it's just a phone . And I Have to agree it is just a phone, but I thought about it my phone has been in my life for a while whether it be to take pictures to write down a quick note , running errands listening to music.. and Oh yeah blogging!!! Sometimes I don't bring my ipad with me , because It gets in the way sometimes. So it's nice to know that If I use my Ipad for something else to blog it will show up with out connecting it to my computer. I never really thought of using my phone for more then calls and text messages and email, and oh yeah checking up on facebook... I've dwindled down on that aspect .... I'm more in to pinterest. Sometimes it's just nice to see what is out there.

 So there are going to be some post that are just going to be pictures because I love taking pictures and the post is going to be called life through my iphone. I figured gathering day to day activities will help see what my life is like, I may even do a vlog! that will be interesting to see talking to a camera hmmm... I never done that before.. 

Rough week

This week has been a rough one. One thing after another this week and I felt that this week had to be rough in order to bring out the good. 

Chris had gotten into a car accident  hurt his neck pretty badly. But thankfully he didnt get into anything worse. So I am grateful for that. 

Then on Thursday I  lost a really great friend from College he got hit by a car riding his bike and died later in the hospital. I have a loss for words . He was a great friend and tuba player. I miss you  and my heart hurts for you everyday . Thank you for the memories that you have bestowed upon me. I know that you were only 20 years old but with being a small school we are all family we have come to the rescue of being their for family. When I heard I was too shocked and just starting bawling ... Of course at work no less.... I calmed down went back to work and then when I went on break I lost it again , so I called Chris to talk to him or at least leave him a voice mail . Still haven't heard from him ... 

Oh we'll thanks for reading 

Love Mary kay

Living with your significant other.. Good or Bad? what are your views?

So first off I know this post might be kind of sparatic so please bare with me to get my thoughts across. No I am not having any doubts of what  is happening just want some input for a first timer.

So in the next couple of weeks, I am going to be moving in with my boyfriend. I've had too many friends that say that they would let me move in and then it turned out they didn't want to. 

I guess that could be a stressor out moment, but I've kept a good head about it. 

But my worries is that with it being my first time moving in with my significant others a lot has come up in my mind, For example: Do you set rules or boundaries, do you break up responsibilities aka bills, chores, food, date nights, entertainment. etc.... 

Do you give yourself "me time" which can help out the relationship. 

What are some successful ideas that you could pass along to a couple who are just starting out taking that road? 

What makes it work besides communication and making date nights regularly during the month. 

Updating my blog but I will keep posting as much as I can during the week!

Hey lovelies,

 I can tell that I really havent been blogging that much, it's not that I have ran out of Idea's I am just brainstorming some post's up.. I'm starting to get the hang of this blogging world a little bit better. Granted I am not doing this for money or to get attention. I just wantto share my life the good, bad and maybe the plain ugly. Sometimes my posts will just be a bunch of pictures. or quotes that I've come across the way.  Or just quick updates or something I thought about during the day while at work. Granted I may not remember it in the end, but hey a girl can dream right?

So I know that my last post was 2 days ago and yes that wasn't a real picker upper kind of post. It made me realize how long ago even though it was year, that I lost someone who I knew as my best buddy even though I am a little bit older then her. But age is just a number. I hate it when everyone comments on oh he's too old for you, so 4 or more years is way to old? We live in a different time then our parents, and yes I understand that they taught us they way they were taught so on and so forth, but they have to realize that we as our generation grew up in different times. This isn't the 50's anymore. 

I really feel as though when I sit here at the library I can get a lot done, even if it's only for a while, but I am proud of myself because I actually did a lot of my planning for at least 6 blog posts  while listening to the racket of the house being worked on with new doors etc.... Yeah Moving brings out the worst in people.

Well lovelies I need to get back to my other blog posts, I will be following up very shortly with another post.

wow a year has flown by: but you are still in my heart

So A lot has been going on in my mind lately, I know that most of it just has to do with a lot of stress with trying to put up the house for sale, which now has been postponed yet again.

But that isn't something that I really want to talk about at this present time. 

So its been a year since my friend from high school has passed. My did that year fly, but she has been on my mind a lot lately I just want to say to her that I miss you amanda your presence and smile and the passion for music has been your constant companion. You were always there to help others and I was grateful to not know you personally but your whole family personally, you've touched my life in so many ways and I am truly grateful for it all. I know that you are in a better place and I know that we all miss you very much, but I know that you are not suffereing anymore and that is what truly is important, I know that dying at a very young age of 19 is very hard on everyone, because we all say that we are too young to die.. I can agree and disagree with that statement. I know that a heart defect took you from us too soon, and NO it's not your fault because you didn't know because you were very healthy. 

God has a way to bring something to us, even if we do think that sometimes that it isn't fair that it happened, but you have to bre grateful for being able to get up everyday and being able to say I love you to loved ones, even if you happened to be angry with them, because it could be the last time . 

So to end another short post my dear Amanda I miss you but you will always be in my heart. Love you girl, and always remember EYES WITH PRIDE

Love,

 Mary Kay

job hunting or should I put migraine city

I know that I shouldn't be complaining about my job and that I should be very grateful that I even have a job, because I know many people out there don't even have one. But I know that I need a change in scenery. I am starting to become the person who doesn't want to go into work. Doesnt mind getting cut every once in a while. Works her butt off literally and doesn't get treated with the respect of others. Been there for 6 years and get skipped over promotions , for a person who only just started a year ago. I have to ask myself what am I doing wrong? should I be slacking off, constatnly on my phone, should I treat customers poorly, should I not say anything at all... That has been going on through my mind lately. Well within the last year or so. But I've been applying for jobs like crazy like it's going out of style.

I've had a couple interviews but the last one I had just ticks me off, it's like ok if it's in your policy to have them only be in the state, (if your looking out of state) make sure you see their policies before you have the interview. Otherwise they call you can start the interview process and then say oh you don't live in the state, NO but willing to move. Well technically we can't use you. OK IT WAS ON MY RESUME!!!! that I wasn't in the state. How do you miss that? OI I don't get it. 

So now I am just trying to find another part time job, because I'm tired of trying to find full time jobs, and the agony of always waiting around, is not something I want to do. Yes you can tell that I have very little patience for jobs, but other than that what else do I have to do.

I had a job for a lesson company, and I was so mad yesterday because they dropped me because I had to decline a student because my mom didn't tell me that she sold the piano so I basically lost my lesson job, THANKS MOM For screwing that up for me.

I'm sorry this post is just a ranting post. I am sorry if you gotten this far I thank you for making it this far. But I am lost in what else I can do. I've Been updating my resume like every week I either add something drop something. It depends on what it is . I work hard for every day, but I have a feeling that anytime something good happens I have to step three steps back. Its like what do you want from me, can't I deserve some good news? please. I am exhausted of constant bad news. 

 Love, 

Mary Kay Bozec 

updates and concerns on where things are Most good and just plain curious.

I've been in the process of revamping my blog for a while now, and No it's not to get more traffic to my blog, I just see it as another thing to do in my spare time to relax. I know that I spend some time on my post lately, rather then have it be a short sweet and to the point blog post. I know that I can ramble on for what seems like forever, trust me I see that as I post them, yet I should try to narrow it down to a simple post or kind of try to stay on track. 

Lately I've been so stressed and just wishing I could just have a break for a couple days, I had told my mom that I just needed a break. I know that she needs one too. As Many of you may or may not know, I don't know if I even mentioned this on my blog yet. After some time away from the dating world I came back into it not expecting much, because Lately I've been having so much baggage with taking care of mom, selling my childhood home you can see the picture come into focus right? 

Well I met this guy Chris on a dating website, I understand that it's really nerve racking to online date, but I'm the type of person who just didn't want to do the whole bar scene. Plus I don't drink a lot I rarely saw the point to get tipsy or flat out drunk, ok maybe when I was 21 yeah I saw the point then. I am 26 years now and still think drinking is way to expensive, sure at a party maybe that ok, or having a beer or wine after a bad day ,we all have those days. Sorry I am getting side tracked, anyways so I met up with him at a park that was met in the middle between our two places. Mind you this was back in May. Yes I know I've kept it on the Down Low for almost 3 months. Granted I might of mentioned it a couple of times. But we have been just taking the time to get to know each other not really make a huge deal about it with automatically being in a relationship, that would be a desperate thing. So I've learned a lot in these last 3 months that shows why a sweetheart chris is. Well first off We are born in the same month a day apart Chris January 3rd I'm January 4th , granted we are a year apart. I thought that was kind of cool experience I've never dated anyone with the same birthday month. Another reason why he's such a sweetheart is the one day I've been just in a terrible mood  mentally breaking down and just couldn't stop crying, I am the type of person who will just hide it until in a private spot like my room to be able to just let the tears fall, without the constant harping of are you ok? Well that wasn't the case all he did was just bring me into his arms and hugged me until I stopped we sat down on the couch, and told me hey its going to be ok I've got you don't worry I am not letting go.  I knew when all this has been happening, if he could see me at my worst possible point and at my absolute best and not judge I know that I found a keeper.

With all the talk about moving and making a new plan to life it's been a hard one to follow. I know that there are trials and errors to being able to find out what your gonna do. I know that all my friends are up here and my boyfriend is up here (Yes we made it official a couple of weeks ago). Most of my family is up here not all within the state of IL ,but close  Wi and Washington. Anyways My mom wants to move to Fl and I do not blame her at all for wanting to get out of these terrible winters that we have. If it's for her health by all means go to a place where it would be possible to have an easier life and not have to worry about falling etc.. the only issue that I am having with all of this and yes I still worry about this to this day is her diabetes. knock on wood I know that she tries to keep her sugar up and tries to remember to eat, but sometimes It's the fact that my sister and I would always have to remind her to eat somedays, plus when we work long hours, I'm rarely home to catch her sugar if it goes super low. And that is something that I am terribly worried about when she moves to FL because No one is really going to be taking care of her. like my sister and I. Which brings me to my next dilemma. 

Do I stay where I know everybody and just spend mounds of money taking airplanes from FL to IL or vice versa to IL to FL.

 Do I go with my mom that way she has someone else there as an extra eye but not suffocate or hover I guess that should be the word for it. 

or do I stay up in IL try to find someone to move in with which has been a nightmare so far ,because the only other people that I know really well have backed out. ( another post about this later). I know that Chris said he would be willing to open up his home to me , if I needed it. Which I already know what you guys are thinking IT's too soon that's what everyones mind , including the two of us. Yes Communication is the key in any relationship if you want it to work out. We've tried at least one sleepover at his house , I know that it doesn't really give you a suspect of what life could be like everyday. i know that we will have arguments, and wanting or needing space. But what I was thinking about as I laid their that night was ok  split the bills on top of what I need to do for bills. grocery shopping. etc.... thats what we have to think about. I mean he owns his town home right now so it's just a mortgage payment. plus between the two of us we have 3 cars. I have my own and he has a leisure car and a work only car. So it all seems like a mess right now hehe I can only laugh about that. 

well thats all for now I hope you all enjoy your weekend I have to get ready for an overnight tonight

Love, Mary Kay