Ok first off I am not here to be bashing on my ex boyfriend I just want to blog the closing terms with what had happened to why I ended it.
I know that everyone struggles with debt myself included and I know that times are tough and we struggle with making ends meet, and It can start taking over your life a little bit, but please don't make your spouse or significant other pay off your debt for you , when you know that you have a full time job... Yes I know that sounded bad, but I am not here to pay off your debt so you can have a better life. I think honestly that you have to work on it yourself first. Harsh I know , But I've saved money for a raining day and I don't plan on using it to get a head of debt or anything like that I work hard and I get it done. Plus I am helping my mom out with bills and cost of living. ( I'm no suger momma). So I don't know if that was what he was expecting that I'd just do that for him.
I've said No a couple of times in the short relationship, and when he'd get mad that I said no and try to force me to do it, or he'd tried to keep going I am sorry but if you think for one minute that I am going to let you get away with this man do you have another thing coming. Where is the respect when you say no?
Like I've said before in some other post that I want to go back to school something with music, and he starts rattling off how his family is number two director of a band in Texas and that his wife is a private instructor. Ok that is fine and dandy, but it doesn't mean I am like them . Yes I play a musical instrument, yes I sing, but when you start comparing me to them and all the schools they went too. It got me to think that maybe I wasn't good enough for the big league schools. That is not the case I know I am good, I may not be the best, But I work hard at my craft all the time. And I am sorry that you thought that I wasn't good enough that is your opinion.
I think honestly I knew around my birthday that this relationship wasn't working out and I guess it probably made me look like a bitch for what happened, but I just couldn't keep going on with this. I didn't want to have a future with this guy because it wasn't gonna be for the right reasons at all.
I do have to say though I am glad that I stood up for myself and knew what wasn't right in the end. I kept my voice and I knew what was right for me.
I hope that you have a nice life without me and maybe in the end you'll find someone who will rush into something with you and not regret it.
After 3 years from my senior recital in college, I finally have picked up my trombone again and started playing in a orchestra down here in Florida. I can't wait for our first concert, and I am truly excited to be in this organization with other cast members and my best friend.
I know that I would miss playing and singing and I know that I just needed a break because when you have TMJ it gets a little tricky with trying to be a musician. But I will not let that stop me this time.
It took me this long to get back to it because I know that I needed to figure some things out and just get my surroundings sort of together before I started dipping my toes back into the musical pond.
I was actually thinking about going back to school for music performance or something I haven't quite figured that out just yet ,but once I do I know I'll be great.
Here's to many more years of music playing.
This year my birthday was super laid back. I really didn't plan anything fun really to do because I was just excited to have a day off or two to sort of regroup from the week prior.
All I really did was get my car sticker so that way I can drive it with out getting pulled over.
I went with mom to her chemo treatment. And If you're stopping at my blog for the first time I do have to say that she is Cancer free for now... So chemo treatment is just remission treatment.
Mom and I went to lunch and then decided to go get our nails done. I couldn't get my finger nails done because of work since I work in food and beverage and I didn't want my mom to waste her money and having to take off the polish the next day before work started.
I didn't get to see Andrew this day because he was working, he wanted me to come over when he called to say that he was home around 8 P.M. I said I wasn't going out to him because one I was in the middle of cooking dinner for my mom and I since that is one of my jobs at home is to pretty much do everything that she can't do.
so I think he was a little mad about it. but the next day I got to hang out with my best friend and her brother we went to hollywood studios and saw the Osbourne lights for the last time saw the star wars fireworks and went to the poly for trader sam's , where Andrew met up with us, and honestly I don't think he really wanted to be there, and said that he can leave anytime if he was too tired. I guess there were some warning signs in that, but that is another post at a later time.
I made it to my one year with Disney I'm still in awe that it's finally here . I mean I actually thought that it would never come.
I know that I had a lot of challenges this year with trying to be a full time cast member and a full time care giver to my mom and I know there were points in time where I didn't even want to go to work and just wanted to give up.
I've had guests who were an absolute delight and sometimes not so much. I've made kids day even if it was giving them some stickers and or twirling with a little girl so that she wouldn't feel so alone.. plus dancing during festival of fantasy and have a guest come up to you and say "I saw that" and all you do is just smile and laugh.
Everyday is a journey here at Disney and like I've mentioned I wouldn't give it up for anything.
But I didn't give up I pulled through it all because of the wonderful people that are my cast member family. They've seen me at my best and my worst. But I still love coming to work. It's the little things in life that make me happy.
I walk in the morning with Robyn as we become more healthy. I have susan and heather who I hang out with after work. Camil with some insight on guidance. Everyone that I've met has been there for me and has helped me in someway or form.
So thank you to everyone I'm truly grateful for being with a well known company and some awesome cast members.
I know when the time is right I will start auditioning for entertainment. I'm not quite there yet ,but I will get there soon .
Heres to many more years of making magic!
I went back to my first post for when I made it to Florida over a year ago. (this post is two months late). I never thought on how far I would of gone.. I know that I rarely blogged about my journey while in Florida because honestly I thought that I wasn't going to stick around. But then I thought I have nothing to go back to in Illinois I mean I put my two weeks in with my job, I have no place to live now that we had sold the house. Yeah I had my friends that I could of stayed with ,but I mean who would want someone who was so afraid to start somewhere new and not give it a chance.
This year was a struggle but there were a lot of moments where I didn't feel like I was struggling. I mean I worked hard in finding a job where it's a love hate relationship. I have a new place to live which is a little closer to my job which makes it easier if I have to run out for an emergency with my mom.
My mom has stage four cancer and for me to be the caregiver I've been struggling so hard to make it work with not only her doctors appointments and my job , but also not getting over stressed on things that are not within my control.
This year has taught me that you know who your true friends are and to realize your the only person that can make you happy in the end do what you need to do for you.
My family and I don't see eye to eye in all things medical and you know sometimes I feel as though they could be better for my mom and taking care of her... I always tell them well if you think you are better then come and move down here and take care of her...
Heres to many more years in Florida .
