So I can tell you right now that I completely missed the whole month of October! Where is this year going? I can't believe that this week is Thanksgiving. Now I know that many people will be asking on social media if I have the day off for the holidays. My answer is always going to be nope, I am working a semi long shift and that is ok.
Another thing this week that I have to get through is my dad's anniversary . Now It's been 14 years since my dad has passed away from cancer. Now I am not going to go into a lot of details not that I wouldn't want to share that with all of you, but I just don't think I can even though it's been over a decade since it happened.
So I know that I mentioned in my last blog post about having an interview, that never happened, until we can get some more people in our location all of our transfers are suspended or in this case on hold for a while. Other than that I am not going to go into much detail of why all of this is happening. Just letting it ride out because it can only go up from here.
So I know that I also don't post about my dating life, and I am most ok with that, because it's between two people not the whole world. We've been dating for over 2 months and he is just my everything. I was so afraid to start dating again, after everything that has been happening with mom and trying to get my life back to normal or a sort of normal life.
He makes me feel special in every way and we don't go out a lot, but having someone to spend time with and when you get to "come home" too sometimes it makes my heart flutter in the possibility that it will be forever. I know that I don't want to jinx it at all, but I just wanted to put it out there.
Ok, so I do have to say that this here in blog land has been on my list to do for about forever. It's been over three months since I have really settled down at my computer and or actually written in general.
I am truly sorry if any of my visitors have stopped by and wondered what happened to me. Well If you have read so far I am alive lol. Work has been a big pain in the rear end. A lot of changes in leadership teams, and still trying to figure out why or how did they become a leader. Yes it's been like that for a long time. Anyways I am not here to bash on anyone of the team it's just kind of surprising.
Anyways enough talking about my job, because that is what I mainly talk about forever.
My days seem to run together lately whether it be working long shifts to coming home and cleaning the apartment, making sure that mom has either eaten or at least tries to eat. My days tend to be super long, and my days off I try to do a lot of things but sleep is what takes over my life. I think this past weekend I've slept in total about 23 hours mostly they are 12 hours of actually sleeping or they are split up into naps. Yes I am 28 years old and I take naps in the middle of the day . I need to stay healthy not only for me, but for my mom.
Anyways, I know the last time I had written on here that I was going to be running in a 5 k in January. well you can now times that by three. Yes you read that right I am going to be running in three 5k's starting in January. I needed some motivation from one of my friends at work , because I had chickened out on the last 5 k she had did, because I was too scared to do it. I kept thinking what if I don't finish what if I can't run the whole thing". etc
I was in the best shape of my life back in high school all thanks to marching band and winterguard.
But I do have to say that since I have moved down here to Florida I've realized that I've lost a lot of weight I was around 189lbs when I came to Fl ,then I started working for the mouse and started drinking a lot more water and walking alot more thank you disney for making it a half mile to get to my location from the bus I appreciate it. The last time I had checked I was 162lbs if you are trying to do the math . Its 27 lbs that I've lost,. I know that to the sinners eye that It doesn't look like much and i know that I still have a lot to go, but I have to say that It's a slow progress and i know that I've been eating smaller portions , If I make myself dinner I usually always have left overs or I just eat enough to make me not so hungry.
I've had family visit in June they were here for about 10 days and I took off that time to go spend time with them. It was all fun and what not ,but also kind of a pain for me because on the days that we didn't hang out I honestly probably could of worked . instead of loosing a weeks worth of pay.
I know that I mentioned in blog post past that I've joined an orchestra. Well that is still true, then i had been on light duty with work and i couldn't play my horn for the longest time. because I needed to heal properly. Trust me that was a drag on me because that was the only thing that literally gave me some "me time". As much as my mom is begging me to stay with it , I kind of am not sure if I want to do it next season. I am going to keep it up because well I paid for it.
I don't think I've mentioned that I have an interview for a photopass job at disney. I still have to schedule it ,but I am working on my resume and cleaning all that up ... That's all for now I figured I've droned on a lot and figured that you had enough to read .
Hope that you will visit a lot later.
Hello ! It's been over a month since I have blogged. Wow It's not like I forgot or something... ok Maybe I did and I am truly sorry! Please forgive me...
Well now that I have you here in this space I call my go to writing world.
A lot of things have happened, whether it be that I signed up for my first 5k in January .... Yay exciting and then the other thing is getting myself into therapy now before you go off on your tangent about how You can talk to me you just need to speak up.... The reason I want to do this way is because I hate bugging people with all the issues of being a care giver and why my life seems like a mess sometimes.
I know other people are in same boat or know how it is. And I thank you for listening me bitch and complain and over all just get out the pent up stress. Which this way is why I signed up for my first 5k is because It helped me get crap of my chest and out in the open and I felt so much better just running it out. or in this case walking it out. not that I don't run sometimes. just in the very beginning stages....
Everything else has been going ok some stressing on hours from the job and wanting to transfer out of food and beverage just to get a way from whats not making me so much of happy. It's not the people itself just the location.
So here's to new beginning and a much better blog post later.
Wow I did not realize how long it has been since I've come to my page.... I am sorry if you had missed me in the last month in half. I've been super busy with work and having some family coming to visit and don't worry I have been writing a lot. I've come to the point that I always have a pen and paper with me every where I go . Even if it's to the store to pick up groceries for mom.
I also become a planner I write stuff down that needs to get done during the day either in my planner or I'll have a legal pad with me.. My friends at work are always saying something about it in the end.
I've become this homebody where I barely go out unless its for work and or errands or doctors visits or hospital visits .
That's all for now I just wanted to at least make something on my blog trust me I have some better posts coming soon I am working on them on paper.
Ok first off I am not here to be bashing on my ex boyfriend I just want to blog the closing terms with what had happened to why I ended it.
I know that everyone struggles with debt myself included and I know that times are tough and we struggle with making ends meet, and It can start taking over your life a little bit, but please don't make your spouse or significant other pay off your debt for you , when you know that you have a full time job... Yes I know that sounded bad, but I am not here to pay off your debt so you can have a better life. I think honestly that you have to work on it yourself first. Harsh I know , But I've saved money for a raining day and I don't plan on using it to get a head of debt or anything like that I work hard and I get it done. Plus I am helping my mom out with bills and cost of living. ( I'm no suger momma). So I don't know if that was what he was expecting that I'd just do that for him.
I've said No a couple of times in the short relationship, and when he'd get mad that I said no and try to force me to do it, or he'd tried to keep going I am sorry but if you think for one minute that I am going to let you get away with this man do you have another thing coming. Where is the respect when you say no?
Like I've said before in some other post that I want to go back to school something with music, and he starts rattling off how his family is number two director of a band in Texas and that his wife is a private instructor. Ok that is fine and dandy, but it doesn't mean I am like them . Yes I play a musical instrument, yes I sing, but when you start comparing me to them and all the schools they went too. It got me to think that maybe I wasn't good enough for the big league schools. That is not the case I know I am good, I may not be the best, But I work hard at my craft all the time. And I am sorry that you thought that I wasn't good enough that is your opinion.
I think honestly I knew around my birthday that this relationship wasn't working out and I guess it probably made me look like a bitch for what happened, but I just couldn't keep going on with this. I didn't want to have a future with this guy because it wasn't gonna be for the right reasons at all.
I do have to say though I am glad that I stood up for myself and knew what wasn't right in the end. I kept my voice and I knew what was right for me.
I hope that you have a nice life without me and maybe in the end you'll find someone who will rush into something with you and not regret it.
After 3 years from my senior recital in college, I finally have picked up my trombone again and started playing in a orchestra down here in Florida. I can't wait for our first concert, and I am truly excited to be in this organization with other cast members and my best friend.
I know that I would miss playing and singing and I know that I just needed a break because when you have TMJ it gets a little tricky with trying to be a musician. But I will not let that stop me this time.
It took me this long to get back to it because I know that I needed to figure some things out and just get my surroundings sort of together before I started dipping my toes back into the musical pond.
I was actually thinking about going back to school for music performance or something I haven't quite figured that out just yet ,but once I do I know I'll be great.
Here's to many more years of music playing.
This year my birthday was super laid back. I really didn't plan anything fun really to do because I was just excited to have a day off or two to sort of regroup from the week prior.
All I really did was get my car sticker so that way I can drive it with out getting pulled over.
I went with mom to her chemo treatment. And If you're stopping at my blog for the first time I do have to say that she is Cancer free for now... So chemo treatment is just remission treatment.
Mom and I went to lunch and then decided to go get our nails done. I couldn't get my finger nails done because of work since I work in food and beverage and I didn't want my mom to waste her money and having to take off the polish the next day before work started.
I didn't get to see Andrew this day because he was working, he wanted me to come over when he called to say that he was home around 8 P.M. I said I wasn't going out to him because one I was in the middle of cooking dinner for my mom and I since that is one of my jobs at home is to pretty much do everything that she can't do.
so I think he was a little mad about it. but the next day I got to hang out with my best friend and her brother we went to hollywood studios and saw the Osbourne lights for the last time saw the star wars fireworks and went to the poly for trader sam's , where Andrew met up with us, and honestly I don't think he really wanted to be there, and said that he can leave anytime if he was too tired. I guess there were some warning signs in that, but that is another post at a later time.
I made it to my one year with Disney I'm still in awe that it's finally here . I mean I actually thought that it would never come.
I know that I had a lot of challenges this year with trying to be a full time cast member and a full time care giver to my mom and I know there were points in time where I didn't even want to go to work and just wanted to give up.
I've had guests who were an absolute delight and sometimes not so much. I've made kids day even if it was giving them some stickers and or twirling with a little girl so that she wouldn't feel so alone.. plus dancing during festival of fantasy and have a guest come up to you and say "I saw that" and all you do is just smile and laugh.
Everyday is a journey here at Disney and like I've mentioned I wouldn't give it up for anything.
But I didn't give up I pulled through it all because of the wonderful people that are my cast member family. They've seen me at my best and my worst. But I still love coming to work. It's the little things in life that make me happy.
I walk in the morning with Robyn as we become more healthy. I have susan and heather who I hang out with after work. Camil with some insight on guidance. Everyone that I've met has been there for me and has helped me in someway or form.
So thank you to everyone I'm truly grateful for being with a well known company and some awesome cast members.
I know when the time is right I will start auditioning for entertainment. I'm not quite there yet ,but I will get there soon .
Heres to many more years of making magic!
I went back to my first post for when I made it to Florida over a year ago. (this post is two months late). I never thought on how far I would of gone.. I know that I rarely blogged about my journey while in Florida because honestly I thought that I wasn't going to stick around. But then I thought I have nothing to go back to in Illinois I mean I put my two weeks in with my job, I have no place to live now that we had sold the house. Yeah I had my friends that I could of stayed with ,but I mean who would want someone who was so afraid to start somewhere new and not give it a chance.
This year was a struggle but there were a lot of moments where I didn't feel like I was struggling. I mean I worked hard in finding a job where it's a love hate relationship. I have a new place to live which is a little closer to my job which makes it easier if I have to run out for an emergency with my mom.
My mom has stage four cancer and for me to be the caregiver I've been struggling so hard to make it work with not only her doctors appointments and my job , but also not getting over stressed on things that are not within my control.
This year has taught me that you know who your true friends are and to realize your the only person that can make you happy in the end do what you need to do for you.
My family and I don't see eye to eye in all things medical and you know sometimes I feel as though they could be better for my mom and taking care of her... I always tell them well if you think you are better then come and move down here and take care of her...
Heres to many more years in Florida .
I am at a lost for words lately.... I've been sitting here at the computer just sort of staring at it and sort of waiting for inspiration to hit , to be able to write a post this week. I know that I've already sort of broke the rule of not blogging at weekly ,but when your busy with constant schedule changes because your job can't make up their mind of when they actually want to schedule you it can get a little disorientated to the point of saying what day is it in the end....
So as of right now I am sitting here having an adult beverage after cleaning part of the apartment which I have just a little more to go , but so far it's ok. I've been struggling to finally get my room cleaned and organized mind you we moved in August and its January... 7 months it took me to clean and organize my room and I am ok with that.
I've had a lot of things happen to me this week, one of them was having to block my ex from my life because he can't get the hint that I don't want anything to do with him. I've told him numerous times to leave me alone and move on, because that's what all of us do we move on.
I got to finally see Andrew this week, being on opposite schedules and maybe getting to see each other in passing to our locations at work gets me by for a while, but It was just nice to be able to spend sometime cooking and just enjoying each others company. We talked about our trip in October which I am getting excited for it will be my first vacation that I've had since we went to Tennessee which was three or four years ago.. Granted most of the trip is just for a wedding he's standing up in, but I don't mind
I celebrate my one service year with Disney and I am super stoked about it.... I can't wait to finally have that one year pin on my name tag.... Let me tell you that this was a hard year to overcome, I had a lot of things thrown at me and come hell or high waters I made it through. I know that I keep wanting to do different things with disney I just don't know what I want to do just yet.. I will eventually get there ...
Hope that everyone has a good night....
So Florida finally has what is called "winter" its only just about 54 degrees out ... For us from Chicago it's a heat wave in the winter. So I have been thinking about what would be my new years resolutions would be? Now before you get on the its three days later since it became the new year .. Yes I know this... Granted I've been super busy during the holiday season at Disney and I haven't made time out of my busy schedule to even write a rough draft or in this case some bullet points.
Anyways so far my new years resolution is as follows.
1. To blog at least once a week even if there isn't much going on in my life or a lot to say.
2. Spend at least one day a month to treat myself to something special whether it be getting my nails done or buying something nice for myself.
3. To get on the treadmill/hit10,000 steps a day or more 4-5 days a week(if not available then bike)
4. To work on my faith more Since I've moved down here I really haven't had the chance to go to church and I really miss it.
5. To sing more, I've come to realize as I was singing in the car last night that I really haven't sang that much.
6. Drink more water, lately I've noticed that I haven't been drinking enough water.
I know that it's a small list but it will work for me and I will do my best at it.
I hope you all had a great new years .
