I've been in such an uplifting mood!!!

I LOVE where my mood has been going this week. It all started on Saturday after high Tea at my cousins bridal shower. 

I've gotten a lot of compliments on my dress that I wore which for me I felt weird in because normally I am a nice pants type and nice shirt girl. NO dresses! 

Saturday night I spent some time with my mom at dinner even if it was just at portillos because we were still kind of full from high tea.

I then spent most of my time at my friend Cara's house because she was pretty down this past week with things thrown in her way. Trust me I've dealt with that a lot this year and last. 

So we just spent the night talking with her friend Bre and then Diego came over after getting off of work at the hospital. 

It was really nice to finally meet him because we've been talking a lot on the phone to help cara out. 

We sat talking in my drive way til 2 A.M.  I have to say that it was the best time of my life. We both had some similarities like music and he is a nurse and wants to be a doctor, my mom wants to be a nurse and is a medical assistant. 

His music is so important to him and he is incredible . my jaw drop when I heard a recording. 

That doesn't happen all the time with me, but damn. lol .Diego mix.

Granted yes I've had a couple relationships in the past that never worked out in the end because of the differences in where we were going. 

This one feels so different.  I feel as though I can confide in him with my mom and he know's that sometimes I can't  always be strong and there to not live my life how I want too. I am truly greatful for my friend to at least try to get us set up. 

I don't know if I want to be in a relationship at this point but will see what happens it will pretty much be whatever happens happens. 
 I feel as though he just broke through that barrier for me that is huge because I put this wall up for everyone and that I hide myself from the world just because I've been hurt way to much and that If I even stepped out I would just be back in that lonely space. I really never want to go back.

Have I really been shut out to what everyone else see's in me  because I am too worried about what others thought because I over reacted . 

Maybe this is something that I need to live on with my life and get my life back in order. Maybe that all this drastic change in my life so suddenly .

Like I've been doing while typing on my blog  is that I over think while I type  and I maybe over thinking by a lot. 

I wish anyone of you can give me some insight on what you think is best or I should say advice. I like the sound of Advice better. 

I hope everyone is having a positive Wednesday . 

Love you all 

Mary Kay Bozec 

Successful Day

Today has been a real successful day for me. It started out really cold it was 39 degrees at 645 A.M. 
But I love Fall. Fall I feel is the best season, all the colors changing and bonfires boots sweaters long walks on the trails crunching leaves. Over Joy. That and coffee. Love Coffee I am not addicted. Thank the Lord for that one. 

Trombone lesson went great I 've gotten this Etude last week and I passed it today . For Reals I was so excited because usually It will be two lessons after I originally get it to be perfect with minor mistakes. 
I was truly grateful.

Voice lesson was hilarious because he gave me a new piece that has a lot of vocal runs and I said are you kidding me Joe . REALLY. But I actually can do it it's just a little difficult at the moment. Also it's in Italian which i really enjoy that language . it's one of my favorites languages to sing in other than English.

So Saturday I was celebrating my Cousin bridal shower. We went to the drake for High Tea. I have to say it was a really cool experience.  We had tea and finger sandwiches. The hotel was beyond Gorgeous I was floored when i walked in. But also felt as if I was out of place. Weird right.

Anyways I came home to go and hang out with some of my friends and my friend decided to have Diego come over after work. Which we all had a great time. We just sat around my friends house talking and having a pillow fight yes like we were in middle school. It was an awesome way to relieve stress and get all happy again. Vandercook life outside of school really stresses us out. But we deal with it and it's like ok we can do this. 

Sunday I had work after  getting home at 2 A.M. Time flies when you are having fun. 

But trying to get up for work when you work at 8 A.M. ha not fun. But I was so energized that it made the time go by so much faster by the time I looked at the clock it was 3 O' Clock. Which i have to say was pretty good because I had to practice and catch up on homework and sleep and everything else a college student goes through. 

Well time for me to get back to the grind of this homework pile.

I hope you all had a great Monday. 

Finally feel like I'm back on my feet.

I'm not a 100% better but at least I don't feel like death!! I still have a raspy voice and sneezing occasionally . But I feel like I can make it through my day a lot better . My cat niko really loves my bed because I've come home to him sleeping on my bed. He doesn't like it when I come home because it means that he has to get down. I dj t mind having my cat on my bed he can sleep there all he wants.

The last picture I don't know if I want to do that for my hair for my best friends wedding. It looks cute but I'm still looking . I can't wait til she Mary's her best friend. It's going to be great I have my MOH speech down to 2:30 seconds which is great. Short and sweet . That's all for today .

Oh before I forget we had jazz harmony this morning and we had to make up a blues name

Mine is curvaceous big mama mango taylor haha good times !

So much sneezing

I have no idea if i am sick or just have allergies. But I've been sick for the last two days and it is really running me ragged.

I want to stay home tomorrow to just sleep it off because I feel as though that might help out a bit because of not really sleeping that well. 

I can't hear being a musician and that is very key when you are playing an instrument and singing!

I am making the best of it . drinking  a lot of fluids and the medicine that I am taking doesn't seem to work. So I think it might be best to take a sick day and just rest and may feel a lot better for thursday. 

what do you think?

30 hours of hell

This weekend  with working at my job and then helping my mom sister and Aunt clean our whole house.

Phew are we all exhausted...

diningroom organized with boxes for garage 

sorry for dark picture but our living room cleaned

laundry room where we can now step into with out knocking over something 

There is still more that needs to be done but from where we started holy cow there is a huge difference .

my room is still a little messy but that's because i have boxes all over and they need to go into the garage for storage before i can finish cleaning otherwise i have a cleaned room and a closet .. with no doors BUT i have a closet. 


My aunt and i are going to go look for a new wardrobe or at least get some basics that can be turned into 10-20 outfits ! which i need to start.. 
 Yay for a new me. 


I don't know if in my last blog I told you guys that my friend is setting me up with one of her friends. I don't know if I want to be set up just yet.

i have more pictures to show you please have a seat if you are not already sitting. 

Proof that I am in a dress ! It was really weird to be wearing a dress because normally I don't like wearing a dress. 

My twin buddy and I at school in our basement! yes our school has a basement. 

Different color in the background what do you think? 

I am always afraid to wear clothes that fit because of the many judgmental people that we have around this school and world. But really aren't we all sometimes judgmental towards one another. 

I agree that I am sometimes judgmental.

I've really come a long way in my thought process towards others and that sometimes you don't need to please everybody because, if you do then you will be unhappy all of your life. Am I right? 

But I hope you all had a fantastic weekend and that you are enjoying your Monday.

Two hours of sleep and still going strong!!

I miss Blogging

I wanted to separate these two different blogs just because it's a completely different topic and topics.

So my one friend from school is trying to set me up with a guy because she thinks that we are perfect for each other. Sometimes I wish that people wouldn't set me up.. 
granted he is cute. But can he understand what my life is really like.. 
that's what i am nervous about. I am nervous for what he will see in my life that I've had to hide to just make it a little easier.
My life is not easy and yet I'm pretty sure that everybody's life is not easy. otherwise it would be a perfect and boring life.

I've had to grow up at a young age because my dad was sick with cancer when I was 14 years old. When he died my sister and I had to grow up at a very young age. Lately I've been taking care of my mom even if it's just during the night when I get home from classes. 12-15 hours a day i am at school becoming a music teacher that will help me support my life. I am not saying that my mom is trying to ruin my life. Because she's not it's just making it hard for me to go out because something always happens and i get called home to get her back to normal.
I've slept at least 3-5 hours a night for 2 weeks straight. It's starting to get the best of me. 
I really need someone to just say Hey it's going to be ok and that YOU need to be happy for who you are. 
I've never had a person tell me that you are so strong and that yes you have a hard life but you are making the best with what you have and that I am proud of you. 
this will come in handy .

I am going to take the plunge and see if this might work. I do have my doubts about it but I have to try right . I mean even if it ends up being just friends I can be ok with that. 

What do you all think? 

Remembering 9-11

I know that most of you are hurting with 9-11 . I know all those people didn't want to die. Just please live your life to the fullest don't take anything for granted.

I remember that day like it was yesterday. I was in 7th grade and was in symphonic band at Prarie View and it was just like any other day. I went back to Grissom to go to my science class where i walked in and saw the Tv was on and we all sat down while our teacher was talking to us. He said that this was in New York I felt sick to my stomach. 

I felt as though why would anyone want to do this to people who didn't deserve to die.

 

Sometimes I never know what to think?

 Sometimes I never know what to think?

There are times I wonder how do I really look towards someone?

Am I really that naive that I just don't know what others truly see? 

It's like I'm walking into oncoming traffic and being hit by a bus. 

I guess you can say that I am a hard critique for myself. I've had many failed attempts in relationships and I really can't put my finger onto why? 

I understand that yeah I get busy with school and home and work , and rarely have little social time because I spend so many hours doing other things that need to be taken care of. 

Maybe it's because I am not trying hard enough. Maybe I push people away. I don't know ..

That or maybe I am thinking too much into it... 
oh well... I hope your having a great Wednesday