Where Has my Voice been?

 I know that I haven’t been on my blog since may of this year and from the prior time which honestly I  can’t remember as of right now since I am in my blog typing out a lot of words that really hasn’t been an option lately since I haven’t had internet or anything like that in over a month, because Moving sucks . Yes  you read that right moving sucks. Going from a spacious two bedroom apartment to a one bedroom apartment . The capacity is so much smaller however, it is also a great way to get rid of a lot of clutter in your life , because we all know that eventually I’ll be able to maybe own my own home, and what not I just have to keep working for it. Which I will because I love a good challenge.


Since I last posted in May I was still working with Disney and I’m happy to say that I have moved on from Disney and got a job at Verizon in their call center. I’ve been here for almost two months since the end of May . It’s been challenging but also rewarding as well.  Some days are going great and then other days I usually say what am I doing here. Like I said rewarding yet challenging. As we end our training session in about a week in a half which I won’t be in the comfort of my own team we will all be split up to different teams and won’t have the comfort of being all together we will possibly be moving desks every 6months to be with different sups and teams, where promotions hit if we work just that hard to get to that promotion. There’s the light under me to want to succeed and do better , because I have sups that make sure were having a good day and being able to be there for when we need it ,  however though to in order to be successful you also have to have the support behind you . I can’t stress that enough. When I quit Disney I didn’t feel that support like I get here at Verizon. It was basically at the point of where they can just replace you in a heartbeat. I was trying my best to be promoted to a higher position because I was working my butt off however the case may be they basically said no because they thought that I wasn’t good enough because at the time I asked it was during when my mom passed away , and I understand that I may have not been completely available during that time which I mean who would be? You’re grieving a loss of a parent your last living parent. When I came back to work every one was treating me differently like  they had to walk on egg shells near me ,because I might crack? That wasn’t the case i loved the distraction of being at work . My job was a good distraction in being able to get away  from what was happening for a couple hours. Anyways that is in the past and started a new journey here with Verizon and I am going to take it and run with it.

In other news I know that I haven’t been really updating as much as I should be doing with my life. So i moved out of the apartment that i shared with my mom and moved completely on my own while being in a new role at work and just over all getting  unpacked and getting my life under control has been a huge issue lately , because I am not used to being one by myself for a long period of time , and    Not being able to take care of anyone . Like I feel as though just not being able to take care of anyone anymore. It’s very weird that happens. I’m so used to taking care of someone else, that when i put myself i feel as though i am being selfish in a way even though I should not feel that way at all , because it’s not like I’m doing anything wrong. But as of right now that’s really all I have to say lately I know there is more to be put on here , however I’ve been staring at computer screens all day my eyes hurt to the point of it being able to see correctly.

its been a while

I know that my blog posts have become less and less, within the last I want to say two years. I remember a time where I was blogging at least a couple times of week during college, or when I was up late which at the time seemed like an awesome idea.
Now a days It's been less and less that I have made an impact on my blog where my voice isn't quite heard anymore. I understand that this is general in most cases where people just stop blogging all the time. But I know for me I need an outlet an escape.

My general outlet/escapes have been running and reading books whileI'm getting ready for bed after a long day of work. So I know that the last time I was on here I was going though my 2018 resolutions, and just a typical catch up on my life since like I said it's been a long hiatus. 

I am down to the one job again, not that I should of quit my second job ,but it was the point of I wasn't getting the hours that I needed , and it really wasn't worth it to drive to work for maybe an hour or two and then come back home. Trust me I understand labor and if you need to cut people. So i figured why not just cut me all together. I've asked to move up at disney with my leaders and their response wasn't what I was hoping for in the end, and I'm not sure why they thought that in the first place, but I have to trust the process I guess.

Alright here is the update I haven't been able to blog about for a while, because It's still to fresh in my mind. So as many of you may of known on here that my mom is battling cancer and has been for the last 3 years or I might have not even mentioned it in my blog posts. Well if I didn't then I am truly sorry. Anyways my mother has been battling her cancer for the last three years, and about Easter time She had passed on. As much as  I miss her everyday I know that she is no longer suffering and isn't in any pain, plus she gets to finally be reunited with her husband and child. Yes If you didn't know  I lost my dad back in 2002 from cancer and I also had a twin sister who passed away at birth due to complications. We were born prematurely. 

As for me being by myself in a state that I've called home the last 3 years it's so weird to say to be on my own is an understatement. I still come home expecting my mom to be on the couch either cross stitching or watching T.V. I honestly can't remember the last time I physically sat down to watch tv? Unless you count netflix, but I only watch that when I need some background noise while blogging, or cleaning the kitchen. I've been going through some of my moms belongings that we didn't get done when my sister was in town. What a chore it is. I do a little each day because I know that for me it's a lot to do while working a full time schedule and your whole body hurts. 

But that is all the updates I have for now. More to come in the next blog stay tuned..

Welcome to 2018

I know that it has been quite a while since I've been here on my blog. I decided to take a little hiatus for a while to sort of regroup my blog , and see if I wanted to change anything since the last time I was actually on I was debating about deleting two years of my life gone. I have decided to keep my blog and just work on it ever so slowly and get back into writing.  

I started this blog when I was in college, It was a way for me to take a break from reality of school and just sort of clear my head and then get back into the world of music and immerse myself in music. It's been close to five years since I have been in school, and I have to say I sort of miss having classes and structure, Now I have not one but two jobs, making sure my mom is doing well, and spending as much time with the people that mean the most to me. 

A year in review of 2017, has had some great moments and then some moments where I thought I was never going to get out of getting bad news.

Beginning of the year I was in a relationship with a guy who I thought could of been "the One." I take that lightly because yes he was a nice guy, and made me think that what I was doing with my life and helping my mom was a good hearted thing to do, but what I didn't realize was that me being a nice person wasn't what he was looking for in a person. I think things would been better if He broke it off in person rather than through a text message. I don't understand why it's so hard to just be up front about everything. Don't blame it on the not knowing when you will see me next, just ask if i was busy and if i was just say when is the next time we could meet.  

Little did I know I had someone waiting for me months later . It's someone who I call my best friend no judgement, just over all. We've been together for 9 months at the end of this month, but we've been friends for over two years. I love that we can do two separate activities like , he will play video games and listen to podcasts while playing and ill be sitting reading a book. We love to drink craft beer, and eating lots of different kind of foods. We go  to the parks sometimes on our days off , and sometimes we just Netflx and chill and no its not what you're thinking.

I ended up running four 5k's and I have to say how fun they were from the crazy costumes we came up with, and getting stronger every time we would run. Its trying to be healthy. When I started out  I was running a 20 minute mile when I ended my last race i was running a 14 minute mile to me was a huge milestone for me. like I said I keep getting stronger and stronger every time. 

I have gotten a 2nd job and let me tell you what a difference it is between disney and buffalo, they both have its quirks,but to be able to struggle just a little bit less .


So this is my 2018 goals, notice how I didn't say resolutions , because I don't think of them as resolutions.

2018 Goals:

• To drink water everyday
• I know that this is a challenge because I am working two jobs and most of the time I don't get the chance to get some water in, but I am making it a goal
• To sign up for a Half Marathon
• I know that when I did 4 5k's last year it came close to a half marathon. I know that this is a huge goal, but i know if i keep up my training and be diligent I can do it. 
• To make healthier choices
• Drink less pop , and coffee I know that I will need a cup of coffee in the morning when I am getting ready for work, to wake up ,but i might switch it up and exercise and get my daily dose of water in. I know I have a lot of crystal light packets that  I can flavor up my water , eat more healthy too less portions more fruit and veggies. 
• To write everyday
• Now I might not be sharing what i write everyday here on my blog ,but i want to be able to let my mind wander and relax
• I also want to start a start a quote book because I am always writing down quotes that I find whether it be on pintrest or when someone posts one to their walls on facebook. 
•  To start going back to church
• I really haven't gone back to church since I had moved down here to florida 3 years ago. I had a great church that I went too , and sang  at, and with my jobs now I haven't found one that goes along with my schedules. Bur I will get there. 
• To start exercising everyday
• even if its taking a walk outside,  I know to also give myself a rest day.
• To worry less and let God handle it
• I know that we all have stress in our lives and struggling I want to be able to just let things go and let it all work out. 
• To not let my struggle define me 
• As you probably read in the bullet point above, that I'm trying to not let my struggle define me ,yes I have to work two jobs to make a living or at least a little more easier 

Overall I am hoping that 2018 brings more happy times. So cheers to 2018!