Walking Down Memory Lane

I know that sometimes going down memory lane can be a good/bad thing, but I see it as a way of looking on how far I've come to the point of where I am right at this moment. Which is sitting here at my computer and blogging. 

So many of you probably didn't know this about me or haven't read my blog post from a year ago, but last year I was engaged and was extremely excited to be starting a new life with the person that was my better half. But then a couple of weeks later I was cheated on and it was with my fraternity sister from college. So the engagement was off after that. Well I was thinking about marriage and was like if I would of stayed and went through all the planning I would be a married women right now . I would of been married on October 17th, 2015. How crazy is that how drastic everything changed.

I really don't know what I would be doing right now if I was still living in Illinois I would probably be in the same job and doing nothing with my life , so in a way I am grateful for the experience of quitting my job and moving to Florida. Loosing over 18 pounds and still loosing more. I couldn't be happier with how right now turned out. Yes I do have some stressful situations with my life still, but I've been taking it day by day and doing the best that I can, even living with all the negativity of my family saying that I am not helping my mom get better and honestly I'm there when she needs it , but I don't want to get in her way of treatment, she has to want to do it, I know that it's hard to be going though what she is going through because our family has gone through it before. 

I never really like the month of November not all it but at least around the time of my dad's anniversary I know that he is proud of what I am doing with my life as long as it's just to  make me happy. You have do to do what makes you happy, others will give their two cents but you have to do what makes you happy.  It's been 13 years since my dad has lost his battle with cancer and yes it does get easier over time. I've changed so much that sometimes I don't realize how much I changed .


As for the dating scene, Yes I guess you can say that I am dating , I've been dating a guy from work named Andrew, He works at the location next to me, but not much longer as he has gotten full time somewhere else in  Magic Kingdom. So far it's going ok at first I was like I don't really want to date or that I am not ready. Then I thought why am I so scared to do something . Self doubt is a killer sometimes. I also have to say with working over 65 hours a week and one day off to catch up on errands and sleep and just making sure you have everything together plus trying to get a blog out  has become a balancing act, and I feel as though adding one more thing to my already full plate will just tip over and then there will be a huge mess of trying to get everything back onto the very full plate. 

I know that in the end everything will work out and that It will get easier , as Dory would say "just Keep Swimming." 

 

To all the readers out there what do you prefer?

Do you prefer books or ebooks? Now before you all get angry about how ebooks have taken over our beloved libraries and book stores, because we all know that there are barely any of them left. 

So I come with this question of which do you prefer, and my answer is both, now before you get all in a tizzy over my answer, it shouldn't matter what we like and don't like, come to think of it on how we literally blame technology taking away something so precious as a reading from a physical book, when in all reality you are still reading it may just be in a different way. 

I know that when i am in a rush to get to work because we all have those days where time gets away from you and you realize that you still have to get to work on time. That's where I love it for e books to come into play , because I can just use my phone and read on break depending on if i have the time for it, depends on if i have a45 minute break or an hour break , because 15 minutes are nothing anymore mainly to throw something down your throat and go to the bathroom, and hopefully you can eat something good on the way home from work.

I am a book reader, I love having a good book, It makes for a great night in, i mean come on pair it with some good wine or beer if your not a wine drinker, and put some background music on and a blanket and somewhere comfy and you are set for a great night in.

Has anyone ever did a book club??? Is that so out of style now...  I never see it being done anymore I would love to do something like that with a bunch of my friends get together once or twice a month or more and have a sit down and talk about the book or books that we have read for that month and then just catch up. 

so I had a first date tonight...

I never thought that I would be so nervous to be going on a date . It's been a while since I've actually had a "first date." Over all I think that it went well, yet I know that I have a  lot of things to take care of with not only myself but with my mom. I know that isn't an excuse to put myself out there , but It did come up in conversation tonight , because well I am a caregiver, whether  it be for something small as a low blood sugar , to making sure that mom eats so she can get her chemo treatment. 

I know that the right guy is out there somewhere, but I always have this fear of when I say that I am a full time worker and I am also a full time caregiver which seems like I have no spare time, which is true most days. I barely hold a 4 hour sleep schedule a night , depending on my job and if mom is having issues when I come home. 

Why do most men always assume that you want to have sex on the first date. Is that what most men think about ?  I mean honestly I didn't wear anything that was revealing because I was actually running errands all day and didn't even bother changing into something halfway decent. I mean a tank top and jeans and  gym shoes because I was walking around a lot today. 

We talked about future plans which honestly I didn't really look that far into the future, because one I don't want to make plans when I don't know what's going to happen tomorrow. I mean there are so many things that can happen in an instant.  I know that it sounds selfish but with having a lot on my plate I just want to take it one day at a time. 

 

Am I overreactting ?

So as in my last post I had mentioned that my mom had surgery. So I had most of my family come down for a visit to help out with mom's recovery, but yet only made me stress out even more. 
I know that I am way over my head with trying to help out and un pack and trying to not get sick and make my mom sick too. And I let somethings slide between my fingers because it happens. 

I know that I screw up occasionally , but then also I did just sort of get handed this job of being a care giver and I haven't quite gotten it under my belt just yet. 

This next part I'm still having a hard time to get over that hump of I am ok. My sister had gotten into an argument with me while I was getting ready for work and in the heat of the moment of just purely angry she has said " if mom falls in this apartment and dies I am blaming you 100 %." Harsh huh?  

 I understand that it was because she was mad , and we normally say things that we don't mean, when we get mad, but I just don't know what to do, it took me a while to calm down before work , because I couldn't tell if I was upset, or pissed off. 

I just don't want to live in fear of my family  hating me more that mom might end up getting worse because I know that they will put all the blame on me over every little thing possible. 

Am I over reacting ? Am I looking into this more then I should be? Thoughts please.

update

I know that I haven't been around a lot lately, and I am sorry about that , I've been busy with taking care of mom and working such crazy hours. 

So I believe the last time I really said anything about my moms health it was a couple of posts ago, well an update is in the near future. 

Mom had surgery about a week ago, and is now in recovery and getting the help she needs for when she is not at home.  everything went well surgery wise, I am just hoping that she'll get to come home soon. I know that cats and dog miss her very much because they do not leave my side when I am home . 


I've had a lot of things happen in the last couple of days, from my computer breaking , after 6 years so I have to go look into a new computer , which I am not looking forward too. I mean aren't computers supposed to last a decent amount of time??? 


So if you know of a good brand please let me know in the comments, I would greatly appreciate it.

I also bought a new camera because my other one wasn't doing the things that I needed it to do.  So there is  that too. I am pretty happy about my purchase and I am excited to be able to use a better camera. and finally get some really great pictures. 

more posts coming soon.

 

What's on my mind of the whole dating scene lately.

I know many people try the online dating scene ,because they don't make time outside of their busy lives to do it. I feel as though we've become a world of lets just sit in front of our computers and talk to people that we don't know?. Have I tried online dating yes, did I like it, kind of Eh.. about it's mainly all about the booty calls/ hooking up.. It's not something i'd want to do . 

It's been about 6 months since I've been in a relationship , and now finally getting over the cheating and moving on with my love life. I feel as though I may be ready to date and just being able to find that one guy who would understand the life that I am in right now with everything going on will still see me as a person. 

I know that dating would seem like lots of work and what not, and I know that putting myself out there would open a lot of doors for me, but I think as of right now I just need to focus on what my mom needs and then focus on my health because right now I am slacking at feeling better, to the point I called into work today because I had a migraine that wouldn't go away after taking migraine medicine and a sore throat. I didn't want to be around people and get them sick and I know I would be miserable. 


If you wait patiently and it will show up when you least expect it.  That's what I keep hearing. 

I am going back to bed I will blog some more later on during the week. 

Good night!

Everyone keeps asking how I lost the...

Weight! Ever since I gave up my job working at Mcdonalds. I honestly should of left a long time ago, but I am the person who always tries to find a job first before quitting that way I don't have a month or two of not working or making money somehow. 

Anyways since I left said job, I don't eat as much fast food now, I think when I worked there it was just there quick and easy. But now that I work for Disney and am walking a lot more I generally get in at least 4 miles a day depending on what I am doing. But even for me that is a lot of walking. 

I bought a fitbit in December and I have lost about 10- 15 pounds,I've been drinking more water then pop , and then eating a lot smaller portions. I am not in control of everything but I work hard here are some pictures to prove that doing a little goes a long way. Ok so the three pictures are as follows from the fall of 2014 ,summer 2014, and present 2015

I don't know exactly what I have been doing besides what I have been doing what I said above, there are some days that I feel sluggish probably the lack of sleep and what not, but some times I just don't sleep. 

I've had friends that I haven't seen in forever and family that notice the weight loss and most of the time I don't pay attention besides noticing some of my clothes don't fit. Now I think tha I went down two sizes in costuming which is a super big deal because costuming numbers are outrageous. 

I haven't updated my clothes yet to fit this new body, because one I HATE TO SHOP.. lately all I have been wearing is workout capris and loose fitted t shirts and tanks. When your mostly doing what I have been doing like unpacking and going to work it's a quick let me throw my costume over this and it will be ok.

I know that I should always sort of look "good" when going out or as I call it presentable, but majority of the people that I see are in exactly what I am wearing...

Time to get ready for work. Hope all is well with everyone here in blog land. I'll post more soon !! Can I just say that it feels so good to be back here on the blog after what seems like a month in a half..

I know that I really want to sign up for a 5k but my only issue right now is making sure I have the money for bills and what not but I know that I will be able to do it soon. 

where and what have I been up to the last month in a half

Why hello there, long time no see!?!? You're probably wondering what have I been up too since the last time I really had a post to share... I still can't believe that it's been over a month since I have really sat down and blogged ! I really did miss it  a lot. 

I know that I haven't been around and forgive me for typing this at 1:30 in the morning but, when you can't sleep and or don't feel tired just yet , and you've been updating your background which I hope you like the new page. Because I love it and mostly that 's what matters right? Right! 


So If you have read any of my past blog posts, you would most likely be caught up to say that I was moving out of the living arrangement that was making me super sick and it was just not what we wanted to be in for that long.  Overall we've been in that living situation since the beginning of December and just moved out at the end of August. 

I know that most of the time when you rent from people you know it should make your life a little easier right?  Heck no it's the worst or at least it was for us. I know that I usually don't bash on people , but this was just over all frustrating . If anything was wrong with the place lets say like the water sprayer for the sink to begin with and then when you turn on the central circulation to move air around the place starts to spark, and you call them to say that hey this isn't working or that isn't. They say oh we'll fix it soon, lets just say that never happened. 

There also has been times where I needed some help with my mom when she was in the hospital on the day we moved, and I was getting calls about a DNR and other things, on top of staying with the movers because well that had to get done. So I pretty much was going back and forth all weekend from the old place to the new place and the hospital. The one day that she was going to get discharged I wanted to go get her car which has been at the old place since before we moved and that was 5 days since we moved. And I called my one neighbor since he was free and said "hey can you meet me at the hospital and take me to the trailer so I can pick up moms car and drive it to the new place and then give me a ride back to the hospital. It would of taken 45 minutes tops round trip. He said oh you can leave the car there because your mom isn't going to be driving it any time soon.  It didn't matter if she was or wasn't going to drive it . It was a matter of we want everything over here at the new place. So then I had talked to my friend Nicole who by the way is a saint , she was running errands with her hubby and I felt so bad for asking them to come all the way out here from where they live which is 45 - 1 hour away. to do exactly what I asked my neighbor to do who lived only 10 mins away. 

Later on that day when she was getting discharge I asked his wife if she could bring her back to the apartment because I have to be at work at 4:45 she was like I don't think she should get discharged if you're not going to be home for the night.... I get that but if her doctors give her the clear why not have her stay and pay for one more night when she is better off being at home in her own bed. 

It was a struggle lets just say that we don't really talk to them really anymore. 


So We are finally in our new place we've been here for a month now as of two days ago, and majority of our stuff is either unpacked or in boxes, but put away so it doesn't look like we have so much.  I've been doing a lot of the move and unpacking and working full time and taking care of mom which has become a 24/7 thing. and I am ok with that just super tired.
I actually thought about quitting my blogging for a while ,because I didn't know how to manage the time between unpacking, working, cleaning ,cooking, making sure moms ok the list can go on for ever.  But then I thought what have I  done for myself lately. I barely go out and spend time with my friends and barely read books because everything has taken up my time a lot lately. 
But I didn't want to give up everything just because it has been getting hard. I still need to do things for me whether it be at 2 A.M. to blog, I don't sleep that often anyways generally 6 hours a night if i am lucky, sometimes more if I am really tired. 


Hope all is well with every one here in blog land. I hope you all enjoy your night/ day depending on where you are. 

updating

 I know that I haven't been around a lot lately and I am truly sorry about that I promise that I will have some posts up and running soon.

Thank you for being patient.

To the Guy who decided to cheat

Hello blog land, I hope everyone is having a wonderful day. Today was my only day off and I spent majority of it in one of the parks at disney and then the rain decided to come by. Lets just say that was fun walking into. 

Anyways I wrote a letter that will probably never be sent to the guy who cheated, but now after all this time I'm finally finding the closure and taking the high road.

I know that over all he will never see this letter either, and I don't care. So here goes nothing. 

To The guy who decided to cheat,

I may not know what was going through your head when you decided to cheat not once but twice, and I may never know why besides it was a "mistake."
We use the word "mistake." a lot in our lives because one we are all human and we do make "mistakes." That is what life is all about in the end we make "mistakes." and we learn from them.

I really hadn't come to terms of why you had to cheat on me and realizing the hurt and anger that came along and the self loathing because I thought that I could of done something different or was it me not being around enough? It broke me down to the point I thought I'd never regain who I was. I know that you didn't think to realize that your actions speak louder then words. 

I know how torn up it would make the other person feel if they found out that their significant other had cheated on them with someone else Of all people you'd understand, even though I am not proud of what I'd had done what happened between us when you were dating another women and you cheated on her with me , yes that was a "mistake." A "mistake." that tore me up inside and ultimately knew it was wrong, but you waited and waited to tell her, when I kept saying that you should be honest and not wait to tell her. I know that it's not an easy task and didn't go well in the end. 

I am on the road to forgiveness and this has been a long road to begin  with, but I've been picking up the pieces . My trust in others, self esteem, and overall moving forward with my life. 

When I decided to move to a different state It wasn't to get away from my problems and or run away in general it was to regain who I needed to be for me. I've lost myself after you cheated and I had to regain that women who I once was eager driven, kind, and put others first before myself. I'm better off without the past haunting me, and I have you to thank for showing me what not to look forward in a man. I am and always be a women who generally loves too much and I deserve better. I overcame this and can overcome anything thrown into my path it's having the strength to move on and let it all fall into place where it needs to be. 


Sincerely, 
The Girl you cheated on. 

Transitioning

I feel as though I am going through this transitioning period, where I am not quite having an out of body experience , but wouldn't that be a creepy experience. But I've finally am dwindling down too the last day of my little mini vacation and I have to say that it was nice to one not be at disney even though we went to disney yesterday but it was to return something and then we just went to dinner and then back to my neighbors to sit outside and relax. I actually got some sun which is always a good sign.

I went back to work last night after having three days off in a row and I have to say that I missed the people I worked with even though I see them almost everyday. It was a super short shift last night and just over all a tiring one I guess it goes to show how tired you feel working late at night. But hey it was good to be back.

So It's been eight months since I've left what I had called home for the last 26 years of my natural born life. And at first I thought a lot about can I do this ?? I was so scared about starting over and in a new place, but I've come to realize that I've done a lot better for myself. I got a job within a month of being in Florida, got a new place to live which will be so much better in the end. I've become full time for the first time in a long time I even get insurance through the company. So I have to say that God has a way of working out his plans for me So thank you Lord for giving me the strength to keep going when things get tough and trust me I've had a lot to deal with mom being sick. I've made new friends and colleagues and even reconnected with some friends that I rarely talked to.

I found this quote that just made me stop and think and I wanted to share it with you here. "Maybe the journey isn't so mucg about becoming anything.Maybe it's unbecoming everything that isn't you so you can be who you were mean't to be in the first place." 

I couldn't agree more on this quote I was going on a journey that I didn't think that was a good path for me, and being so far away from the people that were I guess the plague or bad inspirations I've realized that I'm better then that I have a good life. 

I know that some people still will think that I am a child because that was the time that they saw me "grow up" and I have to say that they think that they know how to take care of someone just by not being there everyday. I know I am here everyday taking care of my mom cleaning up the house and packing and working 50 hours a week and only having one day off a week to just reboot. 

These people think whats better for me is to find a man and I keep saying it will happen when it happens and to not rush into something that you might not be ready for to begin with. 

This is my transitioning time to find out exactly what I want to do with my life I know that there will be all these side roads that will take me off the beaten path , but isn't that what an adventure is for and just be along for the ride? 

Be nice to people and I will be back  after we move to our new place.

catch up

Hello blog land,
I know that I did say that I was going on a hiatus for a while to regain some writing material, plus needing a little break. 

But I haven't really shared much lately of what has been going on In my head lately. As if that didn't sound crazy in itself then I don't know what is. Anyways, so my aunt came down to visit us here in the sunshine state. And overall it was a good visit. I mean granted I worked most of the time that she was here because well it's work. 

I've noticed a lot lately on how much better I am now that I am down here and not back up north. Not meaning that I don't miss the people that I've hung out with all my life. But I've noticed that when i am away from the people that have surrounded me most of the time I found out who truly has been there and will actually stay. I know that I don't talk to a lot of my friends, but the ones who make an effort show the most. 

I missed my nieces third birthday party I wished her a happy birthday and i sang to her like i do to both my nieces, But i've always been there for their parties. I was a little sad, but I know that she will always love me no matter what. 

I am super excited me neighbor is coming in this weekend for a couple of days and I am super stoked. I have some wonderful cast members who took some of my days so I can hang out with my neighbor, yes I know that my check will be a little low, but I really need a break from disney too.  6 days 45- 55 hours a week since March.... 


that's all for now 

mini vacation

Hello blog land, I've been thinking of trying to switch my blog over to wordpress. Not that I don't love blogger here I just want a litle change. I am going to be keeping this one up in case I don't like wordpress. But I might also take a break from blogging completely. 

It's been two years an some months since I've started this blog and I think it's time for a change of heart and or pace. I will be back soon and I hope you all enjoyed this blog since I've started. 

Good News , God Is good

Hello blog land! 
I know that my last post was a little bit on I'm just struggling side. I have to say that I'm actually surpirsed that I survived. It was a long week to say the least, with as much sleep as I got I was still really tired. I think the day before my day off today I slept 11 hours on an off. I know that I had chores to get done and make dinner and make sure mom had all her things that she needed before I would go to work. 

But my body was like nope not today. So today on my day off I sort of got a lot of things done I cleaned my room it's not 100% yet but it's better then what it used to be. 
I did 5- 6 loads of laundry... Cleaned the mountain of dishes, which by the way wasn't made by me except for two things. (thanks Mom). At least I know she is eating when I am gone. 

But I have some really good news So It's official I am a full time cast member. I know that I posted in my blog quite a while ago maybe in Feb about trying to bump up to full time. Well it finally happened in May but, I didn't know until recently . Now how does that work?? you don't tell a person that they got bumped up to full time and make them forget that they get benefits. 
But hey its all good ... I am super relieved now that it finally happened after waiting for what seemed like FOREVER....

My oh so favorite aunt is coming this week dear lord please get me through this visit safely . If you noted the sarcasm then you can probably tell that my aunt and I don't get along.  long story and don't really want to go into the details now. 

But I hope you all have a great night I am gonna try to get some sleep. 

Join the struggle bus

I am totally on the struggle bus  this week.. I think overall working 7 days a week now and again and I have to say is what was I thinking.. Oi vey am I so tired that people are noticing even if I get enough sleep...

I know that good things will happen and that It will be ok in the end but a break would be nice.. I know that I just had a long break from being sick, but trying to make up for what I lost in hours will be over soon I hope.

 thats all for now I am gonna go back to bed to sleep some more before working tonight good ole late night shifts 

So I've decided to ...

Create another blog... Not that I don't love this blog I do it's just I was having a hard time trying to do everything on one blog. You're probably wondering what I am talking about. Well On this blog I generally talk about every day life or what has been going on. Then I would try to do a book review because well I love to read and I figured why not blog about what I read and what I thought about it. It just seemed that it wasn't working for me to have two different ideas. 

So why not start another blog. No I am not doing it to make a living I just like to write or well in this case blog. I know that I did try to do this last time but with a partner but it just ended up being me with writing the reviews. So I am giving it another go. So bare with me for a while as I get this page up an running I am probably going to be going back and forth for a while so keep checking both here and at  The traveling book club.

Thank you in advance for fellow bloggers out there for doing what you love to do. I wouldn't of gotten inspired to do what I love to do now if it weren't for the friends that I've made and kept in contact with on here. 

update

So It is about 3:30 A.M. here in Florida and I am wide awake.... I didn't want to take a sleeping pill to sleep not because I would have to take one every night ,but I don't want to get depended on them to sleep at night. I know it is different for when I do work at night I can usually go to bed within an hour coming home. But I think that since I was active almost all day with out really resting I think that is what is keeping me up late... Today or I should say yesterday I walked 13.4 miles that is over 30,000 steps for what my fitbit tells me. Honestly that little device has been a godsend to me lately.. I've become way more active over the last couple of months. I still don't notice a lot of changes that my body is going through, but apparently other people are noticing ... It's probably not a lot of weight. Actually I don't weight myself it's pointless to me. 

I do want to join a gym that is the one thing that I do miss about being at home. I need another stress reliever besides walking around the parks on my day off. They tend to get boring after a while...

I've just realized that it's been six months since I made the move from Illinois to Florida how time flies.... Yes there have been some great times and then not so great times. Which is life in general. I don't know if I would want to have a perfect happy day everyday that wouldn't be a great life now would it.?

Mom update: she got denined her second session of chemo due to low white blood count so hopefully Monday she can get it. She is starting to lose her hair from treatment. Which I find out through her friend instead of her just telling me straight forward.

I know that my other family members want what is best for me in the long run, but honestly I don't want their advice and constant nagging on you need a career and to find something you love to do. You don't want to be 30 and have no idea what you want to do? I have enough on my plate right now with working and taking care of mom. I don't need the added stress. I have enough of that to last me a while. I need to figure out what i want to do as  career and actually I don't know what I would be good at in general beause I've been so concentrated on music for a long time that I guess I missed what else I was good at. 

On the other hand of having a boyfriend. I don't care to have one at this point I guess it's irrelevent becuase of everything going on. I've always had this thing in my head of who would want to be with a person whose mother is sick with cancer who works for disney and moved to a new state and doesn't even go out anymore. I guess it's a self esteem issue but honestly most guys out there just want one thing in the end.  Maybe I am over analyzing which for me is typical..

All right It's time for bed becaues it is now almost 5 A.M. and I have work in less then 12 hours and I still need to sleep.  
Sleep what is that????


Be Nice to People

strutting down this yellow brick road call life...

What to write? 
It's not that I am in writers block I just think that I don't want to write what is going on through my head and in my life.... Does that sound absolutely horrible? 

In family news mom has started chemo and hopefully it will shrink the tumors I am trying to stay  positive with everything going on even with  my sister being so far away I can't even imagine what they are thinking let alone am I going to not drive myself crazy and stress out. 

Work life has been getting better and easier as the days go on.. I don't normally hang out with them because a lot of things have changed around me.. 

I know short posts are the worst here but I am still trying to figure out what I want to write. 

He always has a plan.

He will always have a plan . I guess that is the correct term for it. Everything lately has just been under a lot of stress. I can normally deal with a lot of it because it what normally happens. Mom starts treatment next week so It will be a rough couple of days.

I've been working alot more hours and tonight is one of them I am working over 11 hours for our 24 hour event at work. I heard that it's really crazy so far for the people that had to work this morning. 

This weekend is going to be a long one with alot of hours thrown into three days of work, but the pay check should be nice in the end.

Nothing else really to report I just wanted to at least post to say that I am still here.

Why does everyone get in your business about being single?

Ok fellow blogger friends! I think I am back on track at least for todays post. I am taking a break from my real life since if you read my last post that I have a lot going on. But taking it day by day, But I do appreciate any prayers to send to my family and I.

ok so onto today's post!
19 things that women are tired of hearing while being single

I came across this post on Facebook the other day more like 4 days ago. I've come to the realization that I have at least agreed to 99% of what they were saying. It's not a bad thing to be single, Its a love hate kind of relationship. Because everyone will have a say in what they think you should do?

Even if you are in a relationship everyone has something to say about it like "oh you could do better." or that " I can't picture you with him and the list can go on." 

Some friends even try to set you up with their friends thinking that they will be perfect for you? Just No, You may get lucky with a couple, but overall just let the person do it their own way, because if they are not looking they are not looking. 

I always get the "your way to beautiful and funny to be single." I am ok with being single. I have some friends that are already married and have children, and yes if you believe it they are younger then me by like a year  and I am happy for them.  Yes I do get the occasional jokes about "Mary Kay when are you going to pop out a kid and or get a man to marry." give it some time. 

 I haven't been looking because one I am not at that time yet to look. I have a lot of things that I am struggling with my family and by far they come first while trying to stay healthy and be at my job, because I am ready to move up in the company , and or do something different. 

I love it how this article that I posted when I started this blog post states that maybe you should lower your standards: I guess my standards are simple , faithful, trusting, and generally a nice guy who is stable and can handle me for who I am. 

What I think of being single is that I am working on myself to become a better person. Yes I still may have a long way to go. But I still love myself , and even though I'm going through a hard time I still find the good in everyone. 

All right blog land I think I bored you enough with this post so with this I say Good bye until next time.


Be Nice to People!
Happy birthday to my dad whose up in Heaven Miss you and love you till we meet again. 

Why? Just Why?

Why, Just Why?I know that there are a many people out there who have it worse. But why do people who don't deserve what they get.

I know what you are probably going to say Mary Kay Where have you been? I am sorry that I've been on the down low for a while. I've just needed a break from reality for a while, which included blogging and being on my phone. 

I am back and ready to give blogging another go. Lately I've been just working a lot  and just lounging around the house and making dinner. Usually that is about all I eat is dinner, and before you say anything know I am not trying to starve myself or have an eating disorder, I just haven't felt hungry.. Which case in point I don't know if that's a bad thing or a good thing..

I've been going through a lot in the last couple of weeks, Between my mom now having cancer again, and hearing about some friends in high school passing away, it's been a rough one. 

I've recently cut my hair and let me tell you I went super short , not pixie cut short , but short enough where I can't really get it into a pony tail but that's ok. It's the little things just to make your day a little bit better. 

I know that this is a really short post, I am going to be working on some other posts with in the next week or two, I just need life to kind of calm down a bit, to really grasp it. 
But thank you for sticking with me in the long run.

Sometimes I wonder where I've been

Hello there, I am or have been the worst blogger ever lately. It's not that I don't have anything to write I do, it's just I don't know where to start?

 I know what you're probably thinking? Well shouldn't you write it out or plan what you want to say a head of time. The truth I do it occasionally, sometimes I just rather write a rough draft just to get something out there in order to just say Hey I am still here!

I've been trying to meal plan for work this week, and I am starting to not like the same things over and over again... It's like we have food, but it always turns out to be the same things, pasta, rice, chicken, pizza... etc.... Now I know that I haven't been able to really go grocery shopping for myself, well I would If I actually had the money to do it, but It generally goes to mom like always. 

Some of my cast members have came through with me trying to find a roommate, and I may be moving out in June if all goes well... Here's hoping on that to the point of "I'll see it when I  believe it." 


So generally I never really  go out that often after work, barely ever at least with my co workers. I finally had the chance to go out the other night with my co workers and we just hung out at IHop because I mean it was 2 AM. when we got off about 25 minutes early all thanks to closing down one side early because there wasn't a lot of guests around because of the weather here in Florida. Yep  It's been one of those weeks where it just rains and rain and rains, and granted I don't mind the rain so much. I know that it's a little better than snow, but I generally do miss the snow it's more a symbolic thing, that most people would think crazy or un ethical, but that is a different post down the road. 

 Been working a lot more crazy hours been super tired to the point where I just stay in bed most of the day, which is why I am blogging right now from my bed .. Lame I know,but I needed the extra sleep or nap I should say. 


I am still a little home sick, and I have this feeling in the back of my head that most of my friends from back home , really don't come in contact with me? Like I always contact them first or they'd say they visit yet, nothing? 
And I know the introvert in me has been a little pain, because I am ok with being by myself cause all I do is  read and or watch a movie and or blog. So today is your lucky day. I know I am not what everyone wants me to be, yet i"m happy for what i've gone through and still came out on top in the end. 

thats all for now. 

I'm still here sorry work be crazy these last two weeks.

Hey there followers! Did you miss me?  I know that I haven't been around much lately my apologies, I've been working a lot I am on day 9 of 11.   I think by the time I hit day 7 I've just been super exhausted , it was too the point that I literally just sleep maybe eat something and then go to work and then repeat for the next 11 days.

I think I did mention in my last post that I was taking a break from blogging while I am working these long hours. But I figured I'd give you something read while I configure up a new plan for a blog post. I'm debating in between two of them. I know hard decisions. 

So I've been reading this book by one of my favorite authors Jane Green. Her books are generally really good, but this book "Straight Talk." Is just not a good book, Now I am that person who has to read up to 100 pages because you never know if it will get good by then, but I believe i'm over 100 pages, and it's so dry and no plot that is good. It's a little disappointment for a fellow book reader. Oh well I know there are many other books that she wrote that are good. So all is not lost.  As of now though I need something to read while I am on break , because I don't like to just be on my phone all the time. Some time literacy is just what I need to relax. 

So last night at work we had some cupcakes that weren't gonna be good when we re opened. but they are generally still good, just not to our standards . So I got to go outside and distribute them to our guests that were leaving, and by far the best experience I had here, but granted everyone wants free food  me included. But I had a guest come back to me and say thank you for making my day better and hey can I get a selfie with you. It was more than I could describe it was just the coolest experience.  It's the littlest things in life that make it so worth being around .

I know that there are some cast members who probably don't want me around and what not , but hey I am here for the long run you can break me down think I am just annoying and an idiot some days. but that won't break me. I'm here and kicking.

 

mumble jumble

So I really haven't done a what's on my mind post lately. I usually just say what happened the day before or what's going on during the week. 

I know that most people would be like oh "you work for Disney." Why yes I do. I love it and sometimes just don't like it, We work crazy hours, there are more days where I'm constantly just sleeping my days away because  knowing that I have work at night again just makes me want to sleep some more I've been drinking a lot more water because there  are barely time when I am working to get water unless its on my break. 

Yes we get into the parks for free, is it worth it yeah I know that I meet so many people everyday and I get to work with my crazy fun loving cast members. But lately everyone is just stressed out and or tired because we are stretching ourselves to the limit of our crazy peak hours. 

Somedays though are harder than others with being away from the one place and or state that you felt at home in and starting a new life is still difficult some days.  I had my nieces call me yesterday and I just teared up because I haven't seen them since before I moved. 
I guess you can say that I am a little home sick and that I really want to come back home for a couple of days. To see all my family and friends.

I know that I am doing the best that I can when I am here in Florida and I know that many people are proud ,but what else do I really have to offer?

 Stay awesome and be nice to people.

when crazy things happen

Talk about a crazy night at work last night. It went by fast which usually happens because we are generally always busy no matter the time unless you have a parade which happens all the time at the kingdom. If you are wondering what the kingdom is it's Magic Kingdom, I just like to use Kingdom, I guess to make me sound so much better then I really am. 

So last night while I was working on Finish and Connect it's the last thing that the guests usually see, well we were trying to take a part a piece of equipment, and thinking that I turned off the water well low and behold it wasn't off, and you can probably guess what happens next, yup water shooting out everywhere, by far the most funniest thing ever. I stood their laughing and I had guests laughing too, one guest is like I would be totally embaressed, yet I really wasn't embarresed at all. I found it to be humerous in every way, I mean why wouldn't you think something was that funny to not laugh at  yourself? Sometimes having a good laugh is what you need in order to be happy in one aspect of your life. 

I've been learning a lot about myself in the last couple of month, since I moved from Illinois , worked hard to find a new job, that some days I hate , others days it's good. I know there are still hard days where I miss the home life in Illinois, but I know that if I didn't take this journey that I would regret not going. I know that my friends have been slim to none back home, I guess that comes with the territory of you just picked up and left. But yet I gave you all a warning that I wasn't going to be here.  I guess I can tell that I know who my true friends are, that's over and done with.

I haven't been able to really write down a lot of things lately and I don't know if it's because of writers block or else maybe it's just I don't have that urge to write. I know that I love to write and I love being able to do my blog every week. But I am wondering if I want to take a break from it for a while? I've thought about this for some time and I don't really care If I am getting followers and or comments, generally this is just for me as an escape. 
I don't know much about working on the actual site or the background to make it any better , because I am just a simple girl who likes simple things. 

When has simple  ever become just complicated?  There are so many people out there that want simple this and simple that, but yet they still want an agenda of who to date and what the person should look like. Thats a whole other thing that I will get into in another blog post.

Stay awesome and be nice to people.

Why I miss performing .

Hi Lovelies, So today I have been doing nothing but brainstorming for my next couple of blog post. I spend a great deal of time writing out what I am thinking and elaborating on certain topics. I have to say that It's been really fun working on these blogs a little bit longer.

But today is one of those days where I miss performing, It's been a part of my life for many years. I get that rush and joy when performing, granted I am a little hard on myself when it comes to performing, but overall I still enjoy it. 

heres a brief sample of my last performance. I did this for a retirement home that loved Frank Sinatra, It was by far the best time I had performing, and It gave me some time show my passion to sing.
 I hope you enjoy. Just in Time Frank Sinatra, performed by: Mary Kay Bozec  October 2014

Like I said I am not perfect, but I just love performing, It's a good time for me to reflect on where I was going. 

I know that most of you know that I work for Disney , and Yes I've been looking for music jobs for Disney but noting yet. But I am excited to audition for candle light choir soon. That will be a fun experience. I am hoping for the best. 

Time to go and finish my book that I am reading, I hope you all have a lovely day . Always remember be nice to people. 

Have Courage and Be Kind

So I went to hang out with some of my friends who work at Disney with me. We went out to the waterpark and then to dinner and then we decided to go see the new Cinderella movie. 
By far the greatest movie ever. 

They stuck with the story and It was very well played with the actors and and actresses, some really funny parts , and for me being a musician, I have to say that the music was awesome. Just over all a fantastic movie. Would I see it again, Oh Yeah !

I have to say that I hate it when I get sick at work, it all kind of happened quickly at work and I got sent home early, now I know that It shouldn't of been that bad, and I am still trying to figure out what exactly got my sick I think it was cross between exhaustion and food poisoning.

But with enough sleep and water and just relaxing all day I am starting to feel better. As much as I hate to leave work early, it was about time I had too, especially if I was throwing up . Yes I know too much information but I always feel as though just sometimes sharing what's going on helps. 

In my life I always sort of live a busy life and with driving all over the place in Florida that I've already put three thousand miles on my car since the new year. I guess I do 1,000 miles a month or more depending on if I am driving or not. It depends. I know that When you live in Florida that is all that you do is just drive and keep driving no matter what. 

Like I said in my last post , I am  a lot more laid back and happier being down here. New opportunities and friendships while still remaining with my old friends 


I know that this is a short post , but I may be back on my feet but I am going to take a nap before work. 

Have a nice day and be nice to people 

and always have courage and be kind