I will probably be really nervous tomorrow during my dress rehearsal.
Yet I don't want to actually like perform, because I don't want it to be my best I want it to be ok lets see what other kinks we can get out.
I am so under stress its crazy to think that because I remember last year I was overly stressed out and that I didn't know how to handle my stress. But then I remember that I was in a relationship that was stressing me out as well because , of plans getting changed and then him being angry that I decided to practice instead.
Anyways I am very happy. Now I am more relaxed around my current boyfriend and we are so in sync with each other. I have to say that communicating is really what is making it work. It's a great feeling to be able to just let go and communicate. I don't know why it was so hard for me.
I know what most of you are probably thinking? " didn't you just break up with him not even a week ago ". my answer is "yes". But in all reality I didn't think it through and now we are closer then ever because I finally opened up and let him in because I feel as though you need to do that if you are in a relationship.
We support each other and that we will always be supporting each other. Just over this week has just been a reality that I was so scared of getting hurt that I hurt others in the process. I think in general it's just a mind set that I am in when it comes to friendships and relationships.
I am so ready for my recital.. This is crazy I am usually still scrambling to get everything done this time around I am just enjoying everything. Its a great thing to not worry. I also have my boyfriend to help me relax even if it's just having Chinese food and watching a movie or two and then falling asleep during the second. I still can't believe that he just let me sleep. I woke up about 45 mins later with a blanket on and he was cuddled up next to me still watching the movie. Having his arm around me so I wouldn't fall off it was the most comfortable and most sleep I've gotten in a long time. I wish I just stayed the night but I didn't have any change of clothes and my concert attire for the concert that is tonight.
Could we really be soul mates? is that even possible ?
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